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“Give me a few minutes,” Lucas said as we headed up the stairs. Aspen bounded over to me as soon as we walked in, tail wagging, pressing against my side. I scratched behind his ears.
“Noah will be around the grounds, and Liam will be in the house with you. But only if you feel comfortable with that. He can stay outside if he needs to.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s fine.” I wasn’t afraid of Liam. I wasn’t afraid of the Resting Warrior men. A far cry from where I’d been when I’d first gotten here. But I’d seen their goodness and their dedication to helping me.
Lucas and I walked up to our bedroom hand in hand. Now I did think of it as our bedroom. What I’d talked about with Rayne ran through my head. I deserved to be happy, and I needed to trust myself. These feelings were real. And that made me afraid for him.
I turned to him at the top of the stairs. “Do you have to go?”
“I need to make sure that he’s taken care of. I can’t let my friends go and take care of Nathan alone.”
“What about Liam? He doesn’t feel the same? And Noah?”
He looked a little sad. “For the same reasons that I need to go, they have reasons that they want to stay.”
My fingers fidgeted again, this time flaring in and out, grasping onto his arms. “I know that you know what you’re doing. But I’m... terrified. For you.”
“Don’t be.”
“I am.” I pressed closer to him. “I can’t take anything for granted with Nathan. Please be careful. Please.” I could hear emotion welling up in my voice, but I kept it contained. He was going to do this, and I wouldn’t send him away worried about me.
Lucas kissed me slowly. If he weren’t about to throw himself into danger, he would have me on the bed in minutes. And I looked forward to doing that without this black cloud over our heads. “I will be careful,” he said. “I promise.”
He pulled away from me and quickly threw on dark pants and a dark shirt. I sat on the bed and watched him as he changed with ruthless efficiency. During the darkness of night, he would be all but invisible. “I’ll call you as soon as it’s done,” he said, coming to me and pressing one final kiss to my temple. “Keep your phone with you.”
“I will.”
I followed him to the front door and smiled as he stepped out and Liam stepped in. Aspen pressed against the back of my legs like he knew I needed it. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from fidgeting. I tried to stop thinking about the fact that Lucas was walking away from me and toward danger. For me.
Words pressed against my mouth, but they terrified me. Made my heart stutter. And I locked my lips together to keep them in. I would tell him later when he was back and we were safe and those words could be spoken in intimate darkness.
I watched him until he disappeared.
“He’ll be okay,” Liam said. “They all will.”
“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “Do you want some food? I was going to make dinner.”
Liam shook his head. “Thanks for the offer, but I ate. Just do whatever you need. I’ll be here in the living room.” He had a laptop with him, and he set it up on the table. “Tapped into the cameras.”
“Lucas seemed to think that it’s a done deal?”
He shrugged. “It pretty much is. But we don’t take chances with stuff like this.”
I nodded. Nothing felt settled, and it wouldn’t until Lucas came back. So I turned and nodded to Aspen. He came with me to the kitchen. I kept my phone tucked into my bra despite knowing it would be hours until he called or came back. The place they were going was about an hour away.
So at least two hours. I could fill two hours.
I fed Aspen and cooked myself some pasta. I took my time. Made the sauce from scratch because I didn’t want to just sit with my thoughts. But still, by the time I was finished and had eaten, it had only been an hour. My phone still rested against my skin, dead and silent.
“Anything?” I asked Liam.
“No, sorry.”
I closed my hands into fists and my toes curled. That was fine. It hadn’t been that long. I steadied my breath and retreated to the kitchen again to make myself a cup of tea.
Now that I was here, and freedom was within my grasp, I needed to think about things to actually... do. I didn’t have any hobbies. For four years, my hobby had been running and creating new identities. I hadn’t had time to do anything but survive. And I doubted that creating identities for other people would be considered a good hobby.
If Lucas were here, I knew what we’d be doing. But even outside of that and the rush of heat that accompanied those thoughts, I would need other things to do. I could read a book, or anything really.
