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I swallowed. This was the part of the teasing game my friends played where I denied there was anything between Jude and me, and they just grinned and we all played along.
For the first time in forever, the denials weren’t on the tip of my tongue. I couldn’t exactly pretend it didn’t mean something. It just didn’t mean what Evie thought it did.
Clearing my throat, I continued with the espresso machine, though there was nothing left to do with it. “Bessie broke down last night on the way home. I didn’t want to bother you and Lucas, so I called Jude. He offered to bring me to work this morning.”
I practically heard her roll her eyes. “Lena, that car.”
“I know.” The words came out too quickly. “I know.”
“Lena, are you—”
The door to the bakery opened, and one of our morning regulars came in. Tracy. Coffee and two scones. She always took an extra one to work for her boss. I served her with a smile and pretended nothing was wrong, because it was all I could do.
I wasn’t going to be able to keep the truth from Evie forever, but the embarrassment still felt like it was going to crush me. I couldn’t breathe when I thought about it. But she was going to ask. Everyone was going to ask. Might as well rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with so everyone could immediately know not to ask.
Tracy left, and I sighed, leaning on the counter. It was coming.
“Lena.” Evie’s voice came from behind me. “Are you okay?”
Taking a breath, I closed my eyes. “No. I am very much not okay.”
She looked startled when I turned. And no wonder. I was always okay. The sunshine baker who made everyone’s days better. It was my job to make people happy. So I was happy.
I didn’t think I could be happy today.
“What happened?”
“I—” My throat closed, and I swallowed. The tears came faster than I could blink them back, and the mask I’d been trying to maintain broke.
“Oh, honey.” Evie was pulling me back into the kitchen, and she guided me to one of the stools we sat on while we decorated cookies. “Shit. It’s too cold for the patio. Just sit here for a second, okay? I’m going to close us for a minute. The town won’t perish if we take a short break today.”
I didn’t argue.
My chest felt like it was cracking open, and tears just flowed. This was what I wanted to keep until I could get home. But I was lying to myself if I thought that was realistic. Ripping off the Band-Aid was going to hurt like hell. The pain in my chest wasn’t small. This was deep, and it was going to take a long time to heal over.
How could things change so quickly?
Evelyn appeared again with one of our biggest mugs in hand, something steaming out of the top of it. As she set it down, I saw the paper tab of my favorite tea peeking over the side. “Hold that thought,” Evie said, quickly grabbing the bottle of honey from the front counter and one of the small creamer cartons. “There.” She pulled the other stool across from me, and I laughed once.
Her care in setting me up with what she knew I loved was comforting, and it only made me want to cry harder because I knew she cared and she was going to be disappointed too. I covered my face with my hands.
“What happened?” she asked again quietly.
“Nothing happened,” I said. “And everything happened.”
She made a face and smiled. “That doesn’t tell me much.”
“I know.” Forcing my breath to be more even, I squeezed honey into the mug and mixed in the creamer until the tea was the exact shade I liked it to be. Then I started talking.
“Last night, it felt so similar to…you know… I called Jude to pick me up. Not only because I didn’t want to bother you, but because I feel safe with him. When he dropped me off, I asked him to come inside, and he said yes. He’s never done that before.”
Evie gasped. “Lena, that’s huge!”
I tried for a smile and took a sip of the tea. “Yeah. I wasn’t planning on anything happening. I just wanted to talk and calm down. But when I saw him in my kitchen…I kissed him.” Evelyn said nothing, waiting for me to continue, though I could tell she was on the edge of her seat. “He kissed me back for a second, and then he stopped. He froze, got up, and left.”
“He what?”
I took another sip of tea. “The only thing he said was that he’d be back in the morning to bring me here, and that’s what he did. I thought there was some kind of misunderstanding, so I tried to talk about it on the ride. Tried to kiss him again when we got here, but nothing. I don’t—” My breath and voice shook. “I think I’ve been wrong. I don’t think he likes me like that, Evie.”
