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“Not true.” He didn’t move, keeping our faces close and me locked against the door so I was completely enveloped by him. “There’s not a single thought of yours I don’t want to hear and nothing about you I don’t want to know.” Then more quietly, he said, “I’ve already lived through hell, Lena. Whatever it is, I can bear it.”
“It’s nothing compared to that.”
“That’s not what I meant.” One finger lifted my chin, so I was looking into his eyes. “My point being, there’s nothing you can say that will shock me or make me think less of you. No matter how small or big the burden, I want to share it with you.”
All of it was on the tip of my tongue. But as soon as I started, I wondered if it would all come pouring out of me and I wouldn’t be able to stop. I had a list of orders as long as my arm to make for Thanksgiving, and getting caught in a loop of worry and shame wouldn’t help if I added it all on top.
“Later?” I asked. “I need to get back to work.”
“Later, then.” He would ask me later. But at home, with just him and a little distance, I might be able to voice some of the things pushing against the wall I was barely keeping up.
“But,” he added, “we still have why I came here in the first place.”
“Oh?” I allowed myself to smile. “What’s that?”
Jude’s only answer was to kiss me. It had the magical ability to wash away everything I was worried about. Nothing existed but the two of us in the moments Jude kissed me, and I hoped that would never change.
A knock vibrated through the door. Evie’s voice was muffled. “I hate to break up the lovebirds, but the lunch rush is starting.”
“I’ll be right there,” I called.
Jude kissed me one more time. “I’ll be at your house when you get there. Try not to let it take over your mind, and you can tell me about it later.”
“Right.”
He gave me a look that told me he knew I was going to have it swirling around in my thoughts for the rest of the day, but I hoped not.
“See you at home.”
The phone rang, and he let me go so I could answer, squeezing my hand before he slipped out of the office. My stomach was in knots when I answered, hoping it wasn’t another person canceling on me. But it was just a delayed delivery, and I had to take several deep breaths to push back the anxiety.
This was an overreaction. Jude was right. One bad batch of cookies wasn’t enough to undo everything I’d built. And I was smart enough to know, deep down, it had nothing to do with the cookies, and that everything I’d been pushing away since Evelyn’s and my abduction was starting to come back to me.
At some point, I needed to face it.
Today was not that day, with a million and one things to do, along with the added pressure of making sure absolutely nothing went wrong.
Evie’s grin was about as wide as the state of Montana itself when I finally came out of the office. “So. How’d it go?”
I looked at her. “What is it you think we did in there?” She just waggled her eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes. “Do you honestly think we could have had sex in that amount of time? Or that you wouldn’t have heard it?”
She shrugged. “I think Mr. Jude Williams can pretty much do whatever he wants.”
“Well, we didn’t.”
“I’m not judging.” She held up her hands. “If you’d done it in the kitchen, I might have judged a little, cause…sanitary. But it’s your office.”
“Oh my god, we didn’t.”
She smirked. “Whatever you say, boss.”
“Let’s take care of the rush so we can get on with the pies. We’re barely going to have enough time as it is.”
We did. The influx of customers dissipated in less than an hour, and we went to work. I tasted everything. The filling, the pastry, the raw ingredients. The only thing I couldn’t do was try the pies once they were baked. But they looked fine. I stacked them on the cooling racks and covered them lightly so they could cool. Most people would be picking up their pies tomorrow, and I’d finish up any last-minute ones, plus those I said I’d bake for the Resting Warrior meal.
The nice thing was, so close to the holiday, other than the cookies we’d made, all the other things we normally baked were put on hold. The town was used to it, and it would help limit the damage I imagined if word got around.
It was later than usual by the time I pulled Bessie into my driveway, but the lights were on, and knowing Jude was waiting for me warmed me up from the inside. It seemed almost too domestic for being together less than a week, but then again, nothing about the two of us was going to be normal.
