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Her smile was shy, and instead of looking at me, she examined my fingers as she toyed with the fabric of my shirt. “I’m intrigued. I want to see what it’s like. And after everything that’s happened today, I don’t want to control anything. I just want you to love me. So, let’s do it and see how it goes.”
I blew out a breath in relief.
“This is what you’ve been holding back?”
“What?”
“The first time we had sex, I could feel it. You weren’t giving me everything, and I wanted to say you didn’t have to treat me as breakable. But I figured it was just the first time. Now I really know.”
“Thank you,” I said, pulling her more tightly against me. The way she was perched on my lap was only making the hardness in my pants more uncomfortable, but I savored it, simply because it was Lena. “For not looking at me like I’m crazy.”
“Are you kidding? After some of the things Cori’s—” She froze, and I laughed.
“Grant and I are on the same page. Different execution, maybe. But I know.”
“Okay, phew.” She curled her fingers into my shirt and suddenly became shy again. “How would it work?”
A good question. “It’s both easier and harder than it sounds. You don’t have to make any decisions. But you also don’t get to make any decisions.”
“That sounds nice right now.”
“I’ll show you.” Moving one hand, I slid it up into her hair and tightened my grip. Not enough to be painful, but enough to be in control. I sat up straighter, pressing her hips into mine. Her breath shook, but she wasn’t afraid. I’d seen her afraid. “For the next few minutes, you don’t have permission to speak, and you don’t have permission to move. Keep your hands on my shoulders.”
Lena opened her mouth, realized what I’d said, and closed it again. We were close enough for me to watch her pupils dilate with arousal. So maybe this wasn’t as foreign as I’d thought.
I brushed my mouth over her jaw. “See?” She shuddered when my kiss reached her ear in slow motion. “Two very simple commands, and yet you’re dying to move now that I’ve told you not to.”
A sharp intake of breath. I smiled into her skin, reveling in being right.
With my free hand, I tugged the strap of her dress off her shoulder. There was something about seeing a strap fall off a shoulder that brought every instinct I had roaring to life. So simple, and yet the image it created—arched neck, eyes closed, and the bared skin there like an offering.
“This is what it’s about.” I continued my trail, kissing along her collarbone until I reached her shoulder. “An exchange. You surrender your power, and I borrow it. In return, you don’t have to think about anything, and I take care of you.”
“Whoever the bitch was who told you this was wrong, she missed out.” Lena gasped, realizing she wasn’t supposed to talk.
I grinned as I pulled back to look at her. “Harder than it sounds sometimes, isn’t it?”
Lena nodded. “What happens if I mess up?”
“It depends. Some people like to give punishments. I only like to do that if both people enjoy it.”
She took a deep breath, and I was distracted by the way her fallen strap revealed more of her as she breathed. I was going to have fun with her tonight.
“Cori mentioned rope. Is that something you use?”
“I can, but it’s not really my thing.” I knew enough about rope bondage to tie someone safely, but that was the extent of my knowledge. “I prefer using my hands to restrain you. Or handcuffs. But I don’t have those with me.”
She burst out with a laugh. “Is it weird that I’m both excited and nervous at the same time? Because I am. Every time you’ve done something like this, I’ve just…liked it. But it’s all new, and I—” She cut herself off. “I know it was already your plan, but thank you for distracting me with it.”
“My pleasure.” I smirked. “And hopefully your pleasure, too.”
The comment turned her pink enough that I was about to lose control.
“We’re going to figure everything out, and it’s all going to be fine. But I don’t want you to think about the pies, the cookies, or Deja Brew anymore. Put it out of your mind as best you can, and I’ll take care of the rest. Tonight, if it’s too much, tell me to stop. But otherwise, you do what I say. If we need to figure out some other boundaries once you try, we’ll do it.”
“Okay.”
“One last thing.” I dropped both of my hands to her hips. “I need to hear you say yes. And I need you to know when you say it, unless you change your mind about that yes, it’s the last decision you’ll be making for the rest of the night.”
