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My eyes went wide, and my mouth dropped open. He grinned and raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I was finished, did you?”
I closed my eyes, a shudder of need racking my body. Was this something I always would have liked? Or was it him? Did it really matter?
“And I promise,” he said softly. “I won’t take away your voice every time. But it’s a very fast and effective way to emphasize surrendering.”
Surrendering.
God, that’s what it felt like. Yielding. Falling into someone’s arms, knowing without a doubt they would catch you.
“Up on your knees,” Jude said. “Put your hands on the headboard, and then you don’t have permission to move. But,” he added, “you have permission to come as much as you like.”
Oh fuck. He lifted himself off me, allowing me to move, and I heard the sounds of his buckle as I did and then the sound of a condom wrapper. My knuckles turned white, holding on to my headboard.
Now that he’d told me not to move, all I wanted to do was turn and watch him. See the way he stroked the condom onto his cock and look at all the gorgeous lines of his body. But I didn’t. I held on harder, willing myself to stay still like it was the only thing keeping me alive.
I felt the warmth of him behind me before he even touched me. One hand slipping around my waist and down between my legs, the rest of him pressed against me. Would it feel like this every time? Because if it did, then I would never get enough. It felt like I was high, in a good way, and I could easily become addicted to him and the feeling of his control.
“You didn’t look back even once,” Jude murmured, teasing me with his fingers. “You know what that makes you?”
Everything in me waited with breathless anticipation.
“A very good girl.”
The sound that came out of me was strangled and needy, and I was no longer questioning my reactions. Everything now was about enjoyment, and I would figure out the rest later.
“Don’t move,” Jude reminded me. “If I move you, you stay where I put you.” He used one knee to push mine wider, fitting himself against me and thrusting in with one smooth, even stroke.
I almost broke the rules to speak—I definitely broke the rules for moving. This was only the second time he’d been inside me, and it was just as overwhelming as the first. Now I was warm and aroused; everything was glitter and shine. The barest movement, and I saw stars.
My forehead was now resting on the headboard between my hands, and I hadn’t even realized.
Jude made a sound of disapproval. “What did I tell you?”
He pulled me back up and against his chest. One hand still teased me between my legs, almost idly, while I got used to his size all over again, and the other circled my throat. There was no pressure behind it; the feeling of it was more than enough. “Don’t move, Lena.”
Jude moved then, and I was grateful I had permission to come, because there was nothing in the world that could have held me back.
Holding me exactly where he wanted me, my hands gripping the headboard, Jude took me. Every stroke was brutal and beautiful, and I drifted into an entirely new space that was only him. His pleasure, his command, his hands on me.
An orgasm washed over me in a wave of golden stars. There wasn’t any need to tell me not to speak or not to move—I couldn’t do either. I was entirely at his mercy, and it felt like I was blossoming under that same mercy and care.
I never imagined it would be like this. How could the contradiction possibly be true? Letting someone take control made me feel safer and more cared for than I could remember in my life, and the freedom it brought allowed me to accept a whole new level of pleasure.
Everything faded into a haze of breath and moans, of Jude’s whispers in my ear, and the delicious friction of every driving thrust.
He drove me over the edge twice more, my body now so attuned to his guidance he played it like an instrument. When he came, his hands landed on top of mine, holding us together, connected and shaking as we both caught our breath.
“Here.” He lifted my hands off the headboard, massaging them just as he had my shoulders, completely ignoring the fact that he was still buried to the hilt inside me.
I didn’t think I could have moved if he hadn’t moved me, gently separating our bodies and laying me out on the bed before taking care of the condom and even cleaning me with a warm washcloth I hadn’t told him where to find.
A blanket slid up my body, and he joined me beneath it, pulling me against him. My brain felt deliciously scrambled. Like I was a little drunk and at the same time floating on a cloud. “Is this normal?”
“Is what normal?”
“Feeling like this?” I gestured vaguely. How the hell did I describe this? “I think you made me high.”
Jude chuckled softly. “Yes, it’s normal. You’ve got endorphins flooding your brain. But it will pass.”
