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I’d meant what I’d said to Ellie about him. He really was surprisingly quick for a cat of his robust size. He was certainly quicker than any of my lazy lot.
I rubbed my hand down my face as I kicked off my boots. Avoiding Ellie wasn’t the answer, of course, but I was uncomfortable with how I was feeling. The last time I’d had any emotions that vaguely resembled this was when I was nineteen and had my first—and only—girlfriend.
I just didn’t remember the inability to get someone else out of my head.
Ellie was just… there. All the time. In my fucking mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived the moment of idiocy where I’d kissed her. I couldn’t decide if she’d softened or leant into me at all, if she’d reciprocated in any way.
And I hadn’t hung around long enough to find out.
Instead of addressing what I’d done, I’d run away like a coward.
Like the coward I knew I was.
It’d been ten years since I’d ended the only relationship I’d ever had, and I wasn’t even sure I’d felt this way about that girl back then. Ellie annoyed me and intrigued me in equal parts and staying away from her seemed completely futile.
Completely impossible, actually.
Granted, offering to inspire her novel hadn’t been my smartest move, but that had fallen to the wayside. It wasn’t an offer I was going to repeat, and I knew deep down that she wouldn’t accept it anyway.
I’d wager she was getting enough inspiration every time one of us opened our mouths.
I was going to have to suck it up and speak to her later. I had no idea what I was going to say. Apologise, maybe? That seemed like the best place to start. It wasn’t like I’d asked her if she was all right with me doing it.
Shit.
I had double the apology.
One for kissing her and one for not checking if she even wanted me to.
I rubbed my hand down my face again and headed for the kitchen. I needed a cup of tea. My head was all over the place, and it wasn’t as if the goats had behaved at all this morning.
Winston was the only one who had, funnily enough.
“She’s cute,” I heard Fred say from inside the kitchen.
Grandma scoffed. “Back off. She’s my future granddaughter-in-law.”
Shoot. They were talking about Ellie.
I knew he’d run past the lodge this morning.
“Have you asked Max what he thinks about that?” Fred laughed.
“Yes, have we asked Max?” I drawled, walking in.
Grandma peered at me over the rim of her glasses, sipping her tea. “Did you feed the goats?”
I wasn’t going to push it. I didn’t feel like that argument this morning. “I did. They’re all out in the fields, too.”
“Good. I think I’ll go and check on Matrix.” She got up with her cup of tea and shuffled past me, humming an Ed Sheeran song and bobbing her head as she went to check on her duck who had a particularly persistent upper respiratory infection.
Fred chuckled. “She’s a hoot on a morning.”
“She’s something,” I muttered, walking over to the teapot. “Is there any left in there?”
He nodded.
“Thanks.” I got a mug out of the cupboard and poured. “So you saw Ellie this morning, huh?”
