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‘Not for us, it’s never too late. We’re family, Cathy.’
‘I’ve lost my family,’ I said. ‘I lost Mum and Dad, Hindley, and you – you who were my rock. Now, Edgar is my family and my future.’ I knew those words would cut him and I delivered them with a cruelty that I later regretted when I thought back on my words.
His eyes narrowed as my weapons hit him – anger, jealousy, despair. ‘I heard what you said to Lockwood, that you wondered what else was out there and if I was good enough for—'
‘—I never said that,’ I cut him off. ‘I never said you weren’t good enough, you misheard.’
‘You may as well have. You wanted to get away from me and see who else might be out there … see if you could do better. So I gave you that chance,’ he snapped back at me. His voice hitched, but he refused to give in to real emotion, he wouldn’t let me see him be that vulnerable.
We waited in silence for a few moments. Then I cut to the chase of the wound that most cut me. ‘Why would you get engaged to her?’ I asked. It was my fixation; it had changed everything.
‘I did it for us, for you so you could see how you feel … bring it to a head. You could confront your feelings and—’
‘Really, you did it for us?’ I stepped forward and around him, reaching for the door handle. ‘Do you know what you did to me when you did that? You killed something inside of me Heath because up until then, you were the only person in the world who knew me, and I guess could really hurt me,’ I said, my eyes blazing. ‘I thought you would support my need to spread my wings, but no, you just clipped them.’
Heath stood taking the blows, his eyes dark and troubled, his jaw locked.
I continued. ‘Next time you’re thinking of doing something for me, please don’t bother.’
I was so close to him as I opened the door for him to make his exit that he grabbed me and for just a moment pulled me closer. I sobbed against his chest and then I realised I couldn’t do this; I knew where it would lead. I shoved him away with such unexpected force that I fell back a step. He grabbed and righted me.
‘Get away from me Heath,’ I cried. ‘Go home to her. We’re not Heath and Cathy anymore, it’s now Heath and his model, Isabella, such a cool couple … we’re nothing. Just leave.’ As if I had commanded the weather, the house raged with me, windows and door frames rattled and the wind roared outside.
‘Just go, please,’ I said, ‘please Heath.’
‘You’re really going to do this to us, Cathy?’ he asked. ‘Marry that stuck-up—’
‘—You’re engaged to his sister!’ I said, cutting him off.
‘I would drop her in a heartbeat to have one more day with you,’ he said.
I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. I wanted him to say that to me months ago before I accepted Edgar’s proposal. Did he accept this commercial contract just to be sure to see me, just so we could havethisconversation?
I took a deep breath and straightened. It was all too late.
‘Edgar’s amazing. Talented, gorgeous, sincere…’ I couldn’t stop. ‘And we’re going to be married,’ I said in a slow and controlled voice. ‘Go home to your fiancée.’
He glared at me and then turned, and took to the stairs. I stood frozen, listening until I could no longer hear his footsteps.
My past was walking away from me. I could have stopped him, but I didn’t and hoped one day I wouldn’t regret it.
Chapter 33– Last day on the moors
I was not looking forward to my shoot with Heath today despite the glorious October weather and the chance to be onmymoors. Last night after Heath left, I decided to meet everyone for dinner and get out of my head for a while. I rang Edgar before I left and told him that Heath and I had spoken after the shoot, but we had been shooting separately all day; he didn’t seem too fazed but it was hard to tell with Edgar. He had his own grudge against Heath and I don’t know how much jealousy weighed in on it. I also don’t know what Heath and Isabella did last night and I don’t care, I’m just glad they didn’t join our group dinner. I happily stayed in my territory and they stayed in the mansion. When Edgar rang later that night after dinner—probably to check I was home alone—I made sure he knew I was as I spoke face-to-face with him from my lounge room couch.
‘Are you wearing that lilac underwear and drinking wine again?’ he asked.
‘As a matter of fact, I’m wearing my scarlet underwear and drinking diet cola,’ I teased and moved the camera so he could see.
‘I’m getting a helicopter and I’ll be right there,’ he said, and I laughed. Sometimes, it was so easy with Edgar.
‘Or we could just … you know, do it by screen,’ I suggested.
Edgar wasn’t the most adventurous lover despite hinting that he had a punishment room, which I never discovered, so I suspect it never existed.
‘Tempted but I’d rather pine and have you in the flesh on Tuesday,’ he sighed.
‘It’s a date,’ I told him. I signed off after a few more minutes and then talked with Nelly and a few friends online. It was lights out at 11pm in my Wuthering Heights pad. I couldn’t get away with looking like a crack whore tomorrow;Wyldegirl was all about glowing skin, bright eyes and a passion for life!
