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There’s a challenge and I was up for it. That night when I was sitting on the couch at home with Nelly, I got out my class list from college and I looked up my friends who were studying costume, stage hair and make-up—after all, the BAFTAs were just presentations on a big stage—and with Nelly’s help I rang a few of them. I asked if they would do my hair and make-up and of course, I’d pay, but I would also put it out there on social media. They were wild with excitement which relaxed me and made me excited.

‘Dahlia is brilliant,’ I said to Nelly. ‘I can’t wait to share the excitement of the night with them because then it is important to all of us.’

‘She’s worth every cent,’ Nelly said. ‘How much was she?’

I told Nelly and she nearly fell over. ‘Next time, just call me and I’ll buy a few cartons of wine … much cheaper.’ She gave me a wink and a grin but it was a good fall-back option if I was broke in the future.

Then there was the dress to think of … I’d have to do that awful posing thing again.

‘I’ve heard some nightmare stories,’I told Nelly.‘People who wore dresses gifted to them for the night and then they’ve torn them or spilt red wine on them and had to buy them for thousands of dollars.’

Nelly nodded. ‘I’ve heard that stuff too. I bet Isabella will be wearing a major label without paying a cent.’

For a moment, and only a moment, I’d forgotten she would be there on Heath’s arm and smiling lovingly beside him when the camera panned to him during the award announcements.Great.

Nelly grabbed her phone and found Isabella’s online accounts. Naturally, she was singing Heath’s praises about his nomination and sharing all the reviews, fair enough.

‘Here you go, she’s well and truly got the dress in hand.’

I leant over as Nelly thumbed through Isabella’s images. She was well into planning her BAFTA outfit as Heath’s guest and giving sneak peeks of the design and designer.Sigh.

‘Well bully for Isabella,’ I said, being childish. I sat back. ‘I’m going to ask Cassie’s sister, Sara, to design it,’ I declared. Cassie was after all my high school best friend and her sister Sara had a boutique and made bespoke wedding dresses and prom dresses. I had only hesitated because I was a little worried that if it was awful, it might ruin the friendship. Dahlia inspired me to take the gamble.

Nelly’s eyes were huge. ‘What if it looks like crap?’

I frowned. ‘How can it? I’ll pick the fabric and agree on the design, and she’ll fit me or design it for me and then her business will get a lift too, hopefully.’

Nelly exhaled. ‘That is very, very risky, Cathy,’ she said. ‘Generous but risky. I need coffee before we can discuss it any further.’ She leapt up and headed to the kitchen to make two fresh cups. Returning, she sat back down with her iPad under her arm.

‘Before you make this decision,’ she said, ‘let’s just check out some of Sara’s designs and her website … just in case her style and tastes are a little different to yours.’

‘Yeah, good idea,’ I agreed. Luckily Sara’s website and designs were amazing, even Nelly was convinced and she’s a tough judge. The next morning I vowed to ring Sara and see if she was on board to do it.

It was five weeks away and everything was happening too fast. But there was one noticeable black hole in my life. Heath and I had not exchanged one word … no congratulatory text or good luck message even though my finger had hovered on the send button a thousand times. We were now leading separate lives. It seemed impossible.

Chapter 36– Award night

Tonight was the night – award night. My wonderful hair and make-up friends did their work on me in Edgar’s London apartment. They offered to touch him up, so to speak, and he accepted a bit of work on his hair and declared himself perfect. We all laughed, but he was. Sara came to London to fit the dress for me personally … plus she wanted to see it on and get photos for her website and social media pages. She wouldn’t allow me to pay for her labour, only the fabric because she appreciated the plug, so I paid for a hotel room for her and her boyfriend, and her sister – my friend, Cassie, and her boyfriend, who came along for the ride. Why not? They were all going to stay and watch the awards in Edgar’s apartment before heading out to party. God, I hope we had something to celebrate. Edgar’s place was buzzing before we left; it was so exciting.

Nelly and her guy got dressed with us as well; Nelly had her hair and make-up done after me and it looked fantastic. We all drank champagne but I only had one glass, it was a great night before the night if that makes sense? Edgar was on the outer a bit but he watched with a grin on his face like he was happy to see me happy and be part of the buzz. It was a good distraction so that I wasn’t fixating on the awards! Nelly was going on to an industry party while Edgar and I were at the awards but we vowed to catch up after, no matter what the outcome.

When I was ready, dressed in Sara’s glittering silver fitted gown, my hair flowing, make-up done and Edgar in a black tux and looking dashing, we declared ourselves ready to go. Edgar, in front of everyone, took my hand and told me I looked breathtaking. Sigh, I would never forget this night. They all wished us luck, I kissed everyone twice, maybe more, and we finally got down to the car. Edgar had organised a driver for the two of us. I don’t know where Isabella and Heath were staying but thank God she hadn’t stormed Edgar’s apartment before the awards.

Edgar held my hand on the drive and I ran through the mantras my relaxation coach, Dahlia, gave me. Something about it only being one night in a long life; how I was one of many tonight and remember to appreciate all the nominees – that was designed to stop me from focusing on myself; to have fun and notice the details to tell Nelly and Cassie – same outward strategy I suspect; it was just acting – the world was not relying on me to do anything more tonight; remember it for what it might be – the first of many; and save the whales … okay, I made that last one up but I’m one hundred per cent for it and it’s a good distraction technique.

‘Got your speech?’ Edgar asked me. A bit late now if I didn’t since we were almost there.

I nodded and looked in my small shell-shaped clutch purse. There it was with my lipstick, powder and a tissue. No comb – I was under strict orders not to touch my hair as the messed-up look was best left alone, apparently.

‘Got yours?’ I asked, and he grinned and tapped his head.

‘Aren’t you, Mr Cool?’ I teased him.

‘Don’t tell me you don’t know yours off by heart?’ he asked, with a raised eyebrow.

‘Of course, but I might forget it under pressure,’ I said.

He nodded. ‘If I forget mine, I’ll just roll out every name I can think of from the cast and crew and tell them I love them all. Your name will be first off my lips of course.’

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