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I shake my head of the thoughts as I stroll around the grocery store with Ivy. We are grabbing a few things for the week before we go home and snuggle on the sofa together for a movie night with popcorn, ice-cream, and candy. It is my last day off with her before the onslaught of crazy hours start up again for the next week, so I like our nights together to be special.
We come to this store weekly, even though it is a little farther away from our house. It is a small, family-run store, and the owners always give Ivy a little treat. It is nice to visit and feel like part of the community. In between work and Ivy, I don’t have a lot of time to make friends, so coming here is like my weekly ritual of socialisation.
I am looking over the labels on some new candy and Ivy is off chatting to Tony, the owner, about her soccer game she scored at this past weekend. Being an older man, he enjoys hearing about her antics, and she is a great storyteller.
As I try to decide between peanut butter cups and chocolate-covered marshmallows, my skin prickles with unease, and a shiver runs through my bones. I feel him before I see him, and as my heart rate increases, I try not to panic. It has been months, so I knew he would turn up soon. Even though I have a restraining order, he must have been following me, because this is not a chance encounter. There is no way he would be in the small grocery store in this neighborhood.
I have never hidden where I am; he always knows where to find me. There is no point in hiding, since being a doctor himself, he can make a few enquiries and get my location within an hour. But Philly isn’t really his scene and he never got along with my sister, so I didn’t think he would bother following me here.
But he did.
I slowly put the candy back on the shelf and look around for Ivy, but I can’t see her, so she must still be with Tony. Turning around, as expected, Daniel’s standing a few steps away, arms by his sides, looking straight at me. I can’t move. I am like a deer caught in headlights. He always makes me feel like this. Like I am stuck. The air has left my lungs, and my hands begin to shake.
There is something different about him since I saw him last, though. His eyes look more vacant. He is angry. Angry at me for not giving him what he wants. Me. He doesn’t care about Ivy, even though she is his blood. All he wants is me.
As he takes steps to move toward me, I automatically step back. My spine is straight, my limbs are tight. I don’t want to be near him, don’t even want to be in the same town as him. He takes another step forward, and I take another backwards, my daughter’s voice cutting through my fear.
“Mommy!” she breathes out, frightened, as her little arms wrap around my legs, and she hides behind me. She knows that Daniel is her father, she knows that he is not a nice man, and she also knows that he wants to take me back to New York. She’s never felt his love or compassion, because he has none to give. I still can’t quite comprehend it all, actually. How could you not love your own child?
I fell pregnant when he forced himself on me one night and didn’t stop to put a condom on. We always used condoms, because he never wanted children. He hates them, and made that clear only after he knew I was committed to our relationship. But that’s all it took. One time. I didn’t realize I was pregnant for months, with a busy work schedule and the stress of the job, I have never been regular, so I thought nothing of it when my period didn’t come. By the time I found out I was carrying a child, I was 22 weeks, and I didn’t even consider not having her, even though I didn’t want to be tied to Daniel. Even back then, I knew he wasn’t the man for me.
The minute he found out I was pregnant, he became filled with resentment and rage. When she was born, he never held her. Once I was out of hospital and home, he ignored her completely. Never changed her nappy, never put her to sleep, never fed her or played with her. Tried to take all my attention, excluding her at every opportunity, until one day I found the strength to mention something to him.
The way he acted that night… it cemented the fact that he was never going to be the man I needed him to be. There was no escaping him then, though. With a little child and no support, I was hostage to the situation. Maggie overseas at the time, and my father not at all helpful or sympathetic.
Ivy and I have both been through a lot of counseling together, and for such a little girl, she is handling the situation reasonably well. I shield her from a lot of it, but she knows the kind of man he is. She’s frightened of her father, and I don’t blame her, because I am too.
His eyes quickly flick down to Ivy, and his lips turn into a snarl as he looks at her. It is because she has my heart, not him. He is jealous of his own daughter.
His fascination with me started years ago, and back then, I thought it was young love. I thought that was how it was meant to be. As the years passed, I began to feel restricted. He took ownership of our finances, my salary going into a joint bank account, one that he seemed to continually change, and I lost track of it. Instead, I lived off an allowance he gave me, trusting that he was investing the rest.
Looking back to me, he takes another step toward us, and I step back again, not wanting the space between us to get any smaller. Ivy shuffles back with me, my hands now guiding her behind me, her grip tight on my legs. He takes another step, now smirking. It is like a game of cat and mouse and whilst the grocery store is usually quiet, today it seems totally empty. Where are people when you want them?
Then, he’s right in front of me. Tall, domineering, and dressed impeccably in slacks and a pressed shirt, looking like he is about to play a round of golf, not abuse his ex-girlfriend. He is leaning down, looking me in the eyes, trying to intimidate me. Our eyes are locked, and I feel sick, but I can’t back down. I can’t show him weakness.
“Well, nice to see you, my dear,” he sneers, and I don’t know what it is, but he seems even more unhinged.
“What do you want, Daniel? You are not meant to be near me. The restraining order is in place. You need to stay at least 200 yards away from us,” I say to him, all the while trying to remain confident and unaffected by his standover tactics. My heart thumps in my chest as my eyes flick around the store to see if I can find a way out for us. I subtly rub my sweaty palms against my legs.
“I came to pick you up and bring you back to New York, Catherine.” He smiles then, his facial features relaxing, before Ivy’s movements grab his attention, and he is back to being angry again.
“We have discussed this, Daniel. We broke up, we are not together. I am not your girlfriend.” I can hear the quiver in my voice. I need to get us out of here, but I still can’t move. I swallow, my dry throat nearly making me choke.
“We are not fucking over until I say we are over, so you need to stop playing these fucking games,” he spits out, loud enough for only me to hear. Dread washes over me.
“Daniel...” I try to gather my strength, but I am slowly losing out over my fear of him, and I begin to tremble. I know he’ll notice.
“Please, Daniel, just go,” I plead to him as he takes one small step forward, ready to unleash his venom, but before he says anything further, my body is pushed away from him by the back of a man, startling me until I breathe in. I know his scent. I have been dreaming of it for days.
Standing in front of me, like he is my protector, is Carter Grange.
13
Carter
I pull up to the rundown house on the outskirts of town, wondering what I am about to get myself into. Checking the photo and the address in the text Sebastian sent me this morning, it matches, so I know I am in the right place.
I look around the street. It is quiet, uncomfortably so. After shoving my gun into the back of my belt, I ensure I have my knife strapped to my calf as well. I don’t often do visits on my own. We usually work in teams of two, or small groups, but Sebastian said I could handle this solo without issue.
