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I nodded, and began cutting up my steak.
“Why, of course you do,” she continued, frowning at my rude behaviour. “You were quite good friends in high school, if I remember correctly?”
Marni smiled at me, and I forced a smile in return for my mother’s sake. Luke continued to focus on his meal, so he didn’t have to speak or make eye contact with me.
“I’m surprised you didn’t keep in touch over the years. You used to have so much in common.”
Her innocent comment caused me to burst out laughing and I couldn’t stop. The entire table looked at me like I was crazy. “Apparently, we still do.”
Everyone shared looks of confusion, trying to figure what was so funny.
Luke shot me a warning look from across the table. “I guess that’s what happens when you leave town like that. Friendships are sacrificed,” he stated harshly, and my laughter ceased immediately.
My parents nodded in agreement, and my blood began to simmer.
With a half-cocked smile, I finally met her eyes for the first time. “No, that wasn’t the reason, was it Marni?”
She seemed confused as to where I was heading. “I’m sorry Natalie, I don’t think I know,” she replied innocently, twirling her finger around one of her scarlet curls.
I tilted my head. “There was an incident…don’t you remember?”
Marni looked towards Luke for support. He rubbed her back, suspicious of my intentions. Their intimate exchange only made me angrier.
“It was because you bought the dress I wanted for our graduation ball,” I joked, and everyone, except Luke, chortled at the insignificant event that ruined our friendship.
Luke, rightfully, remained wary.
“Oh, wait! Or was it the time I found you screwing my boyfriend in the back of his car at our graduation ball?”
Nate spat his drink all over the table and my mother gasped in shock.
“My memory is terrible. What, with all the drinking and all.”
Dad and Amanda sat perfectly still and didn’t utter a word. Marni went deathly pale, and Luke’s eyes burned deep into mine, his hand on her back stilled.
A deathly silence followed.
“May I be excused?” I asked Mum, folding my napkin. “I don’t appear to be very hungry.”
Mum nodded soundlessly, still searching for her voice. I pushed out my chair, went directly to the upstairs bathroom and vomited.
* * *
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for Luke and Marni to leave. I listened as his truck rolled out of our gravel driveway and tore down the dirt road that spilt our properties. As it faded away into the distance, so did my hope of a happy ending.
Once everyone had gone to bed, I went downstairs to make a hot drink to settle my churning stomach. I walked out onto the front porch for some fresh air and sat, hugging my legs, in Dad’s rocking chair. I remained there for a long time, staring at the beautiful house across the road that was once Dawn’s. Shedding tears, I imagined what she would think of me now after the way I had treated her grandson.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, as I woke early the next morning curled up awkwardly in the same chair. Surprised the cool air hadn’t woken me earlier, I found myself wrapped in an old woollen blanket I couldn’t remember taking out with me. In fact, it wasn’t even one of our blankets—it was one of Dawn’s. I gazed across the road at Luke’s truck parked out the front.
Still wrapped in the blanket, I made my way upstairs, and climbed back into my bed. I held on tightly to the only thing reminiscent of the warmth Luke had once given me.
* * *
A week passed and I barely ate. I had a dull ache in my abdomen and no energy. My mum was becoming increasingly concerned and wanted to take me to see Dr. Rogers. The last thing I wanted to do was see the town physician, when he happened to be Marni’s father.
Confidentiality didn’t really exist in a small town like Fairleigh. Everyone knew everything about everyone else, and that included their medical history. I hadn’t forgotten Marni’s constant need to spread gossip.
I brushed off Mum’s worry and told her I was booked in with a private obstetrician in Melbourne early in the new year. I would be twelve weeks by then and would finally see my baby via ultrasound. My heart dipped at the thought of doing it alone, but I had to get used to the possibility Luke might not be by my side when the time came.
