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“Go back to bed, Mel. You need to rest,” Grayson replied.
“Is that her?” she asked.
Grayson sighed. “I need to go, I’ll speak to you soon.”
Before I could respond, he hung up the phone, leaving me breathless.
As I sunk into my bed that still smelt like him, I burst into tears. How could everything change so quickly? A couple of nights ago, he told me he loved me and I returned that love, but now he was on the other side of the country with the woman he was supposed to marry. I wanted to be okay with it. I tried to be okay with it. But I wasn’t. Not in the slightest.
***
19
I lay in bed the next morning, tracing my fingers around the delicate opal pendant that rested at the base of my neck, staring at the message on my cell phone.
Grayson: Melanie’s parents want me to stay for a few more days. Please understand, I’m the only one who can get through to her.
My heart trusted him, but my head kept screaming ‘Bullshit’! His connection to Melanie was much deeper than I imagined, and it made me wonder if Adam was right.
Me: When do you think you’ll be back?
Grayson: I don’t know. Dad has called a family meeting, so I’ll have to stay until Adam can get back here.
Was he stalling? Was he having second thoughts about us? Had Melanie convinced him to stay with her? An avalanche of self-doubt tumbled through my mind, causing me to do something I’d never done before.
Opening the web browser on my phone, I typed ‘Melanie Warren’ into the search bar. Moments later, my screen filled with photographs, articles and posts relating to the Californian beauty. Just like I remembered, she was textbook gorgeous. Blonde and blue-eyed with scarlet red lips. There wasn’t an image in sight that depicted anything other than perfection.
I scrolled down to what looked like an official social media account and clicked through.
381K Followers. Wow.
Her grid was full of glitz and glamour, holiday snaps, and selfies. So many selfies. Every time I attempted a selfie, my chin multiplied and my eyes crossed, or I’d drop the phone on my face, almost breaking my nose. Melanie knew exactly how to arrange herself, the precise way to tilt her head and pout her lips, all while steadily holding a cell phone in her hands. It was impressive.
I scrolled through the images until I caught sight of the same photo Grayson’s mother sent to the newspaper after Thanksgiving. I read the caption.
Surprising my man at Thanksgiving #togetheragain
I took a deep breath. Grayson explained that one and I believed him. Move on, Josie.
As I delved further back, Grayson featured in almost every second post. All the photos, captions, hashtags and comments made my head spin. It was too much. I knew Grayson had a life before he met me, but I never imagined myself having front row tickets to the re-play. As much as I didn’t want to look, I couldn’t help but be drawn into their perfect high society world.
My heart sank. No wonder Grayson’s family were shocked about me. I was nothing like this girl, and never would be. She was born into their lifestyle and I was clearly an unwelcome visitor.
Not one to dwell on the past, I scrolled back to Melanie’s more recent posts. There were countless images of her sun-baking, cocktail-drinking and calorie counting until there was nothing. After Christmas day, total radio silence. My stomach churned, knowing I was part of the reason. Had she not found out about Grayson and I, she never would have hurt herself. The guilt weighed heavily upon my shoulders, and Grayson’s reluctance to share her progress only made me feel worse.
Although the uncertainty of where I stood with Grayson was gnawing away at my heart, I was determined to give him the time he needed. I couldn’t compete with a girl like Melanie, and I wouldn’t. The last thing he needed in his life was more pressure, and as much as I wanted to fight for him, I needed to prepare myself. There was obviously much about his life I didn’t know, and the fact he hadn’t told me everything about Melanie made me think there was some validity to what Adam had told me about their relationship.
Dropping my phone into the empty space beside me, I rolled onto my back. My vision glazed over as I stared at the ceiling, repeatedly telling myself how fucking stupid I was to get involved with a man I barely knew.
* * *
As the new year approached, I kept myself busy watching bad horror movies, eating ice cream and drinking wine…all my usual avoidance behaviour. But I managed to balance it out with long walks in the park with Luci and my camera, getting lost in other people’s worlds and emotions. Anything to avoid my own.
While Luci bolted around the dog park, I took my phone from my pocket and stared down at the empty screen. It was New Year’s Eve and still no word from Grayson. My thumb hovered over the phone and I reluctantly tapped on Melanie’s social media account which I’d accidently-on-purpose, saved to my favourites list.
Four new posts had been added since my last visit and my heart beat rapidly as the images loaded onto the screen, each one cutting deeper than the last.
The first one, uploaded December 28th, was a picture I knew well, for it was the view I’d been waking up to for the last few months. It was Grayson, sprawled out in bed, fast asleep and presumably naked. The caption read:
