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“The judge has done… more,” Maddy closes her eyes, trying her best to be tactful. “He touched her inappropriately, I think he even tried to rap…”
I’m already heading for the front door.
“Nyx, wait,” Maddy calls after me and somehow manages to get herself in my way.
“Move out of my way, Maddy,” I warn her, Jessie’s bitch or not I’m getting out that door and serving the judge his justice.
“You promised,” she tries reminding me.
“Then why fucking tell me,” I snap at her. “All that man has done, did you really expect me to let that go?”
“I told you because we need to convince the Prez to tell her the truth.” Maddy lowers her voice to a whisper. “The girl thinks she’s been being touched up by her father, Nyx, get your thoughts off killing people for a second and try and think about how that might feel.”
I take a step back, clenching my fists to stop myself from punching something. Maddy’s right, How the hell must Ella be feeling about this, she doesn’t know the truth.
“Tomorrow when you speak to the Prez, you need to make him understand how important it is that he takes that away for her. But right now, this moment Nyx, you need to be there for her. She’s trying to be brave but she’s petrified. Trust me I’ve been in her shoes. This place, you guys, you’re a lot to take in. and it’s not just her she’s got to think about. You got responsibilities now, Nyx, you can’t act first, think later, you got to be smart. Committing murder, as just as it might seem right now, ain't smart.”
I let out a long, frustrated sigh when I realize she’s right.
“Go get some sleep, Mads,” I tell her, calming my voice. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid,” I assure her. She nods back before stepping out of my way and opening the door.
I head straight back to my bedroom, sittingin my chair, and watching them both sleep soundly on my bed. Ella's arm wrapped protectively around my son. My chest feels like it could split open for all the love I got for them. Gently, I place myself on the bed beside her and wrap my arm around them both.
“You came back,” Ella whispers sleepily.
“Always,” I assure her.
“Ell,” I try to catch her before she drifts off again because as much as a huge part of me doesn’t want to know. I have to.
“Yes?”
“The judge did he ever…” I try to keep the tension out of my body at the thought of it. Ella needs calm right now.
She twists her head around, her eyes wide open and slamming me straight in the heart.
“That night after you took me to your shelter, he thought we’d been together… He checked.” I watch the huge wet tear slip between her lashes.
“What do you mean, he fuckin’ checked?” My fists tighten.
“He examined me,” she looks horrified at her own words. “Threatened to hurt Mom again if I didn’t let him, and Nyx, she’d taken such a thrashing that night for what I did.” Every part of me wants to get out of this bed and go make that fucker pay but seeing Ella broken keeps me right here beside her.
“There were other times too, it was only a matter of time before he did it. It makes me feel sick and dirty…” she starts to sob again
“Shhhh,” I silence her with a kiss, unable to hear anymore. Not tonight.
“All that’s over now, go back to sleep. He can’t hurt you anymore.” I snuggle her closer and let her body against mine douse some of my rage.
I ain’t gonna react tonight, not while I got my whole world safe and encased in such a small place. A place I want to hold them in forever. And before I close my eyes, I promise myself that I’ll die before I let anyone keep us from being together.
I wake up with Nyx’s arm wrapped around me, and his tattooed fingers resting over our son’s tummy. Yesterday morning I’d never have imagined waking up like this, all of us together.
The baby woke twice during the night, I fed him and we both figured out together how to change him, and get him back to sleep again. I’ve let myself slip into such a state of contentment that I’ve somehow blocked out all the horrors of what happened. That’s how I have to move on. They are just bad memories now. My father can’t hurt me anymore. I got us away from him. I survived, and now with my little family by my side I can work at getting over what he did to me.
After my talk with Maddy last night, I realized there’s someone I need to speak to today, and I’d be lying if I said I’m not nervous about it.
I managed to wriggle out of bed, careful not to disturb Nyx or the baby. They both look so peaceful and I feel the dreamy smile find my lips as I stand and watch them for a few seconds.
I pull on the leggings that Maddy folded up on the chair for me and find a clean shirt of Nyx’s to put on. Then reaching into Nyx’s jeans pocket, I pull out his cell phone, relieved that it doesn’thave a lock code. I search through his contacts until I find Maddy’s number and then hit call.
