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Six
EVELYN
Iknew that something was wrong the moment Raoul stepped back outside, his eyes were crazed, and every muscle in his face was taut. Now with him gone, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with myself.
“Can I get you anything?” the woman who served us dinner asks when she steps back into the living room a few hours later. I decided since I’d be hanging around, to make myself comfortable and watch some Netflix.
“No, thank you.” I smile back, I couldn't possibly eat, not while Raoul and his family are going through hell. I don’t know exactly what’s happened, but I know it must be bad. Even Ludo looks worried.
As a child, I was petrified of Ludo, and the years have done nothing to make his face more welcoming. He’s been standing by the door in silence since Raoul left, making me feel much more like a prisoner than a house guest.
I watch the last few episodes of the series I’d started watching with Fabian, and try not to think about the way he’s betrayed me. I can’t bear to imagine how many people might have seen that video, or worry that there are more like it out there. I had no idea that he’d ever filmed us. Pulling my cell phone from my pocket, I scroll through my messages. There are at least six from Fabian asking where I am, and I choose to ignore them all. It won’t hurt him to suffer a little.
When I start to feel sleepy, I turn off the tv and walk toward the door Ludo is guarding. It’s late and I don’t know what time Raoul will be home, or what state of mind he’ll be in when he does. It’s better that he has some space. I’m sure Ludo will tell him where to find me if he needs me.
“Can you show me where the guest bedroom is please?” I ask politely, feeling a little humiliated. He would have seen Fabian’s home movie when he was trying to delete it.
“Of course.” Ludo gives me what, I guess, is his version of a smile, before leading me up the wide marble staircase to the landing.
“Which is the master suite?” I ask out of curiosity.
“Top of the hall,” he responds in his deep monotone voice, showing me into a room a few doors away from it.
“Will this room suit you?” He lingers in the doorway once I’ve stepped inside and I nod back at him as I slowly take in the space around me. The room is so grand it could easily be a master suite. The walls are painted white, all the fabrics matching, and the bed is positioned toward the balcony that overlooks the gardens.
“I’ll leave you to rest.” Ludo closes the door, and I make my way straight to the en-suite bathroom to take a shower before I attempt to get some sleep.
I take one of the fluffy white towels and wrap it around my chest as soon as I’m done, then head back into the bedroom. I have a few more missed calls from Fabian when I check my phone, and a new voicemail of him yelling. He sounds a lot more angry than worried about me, and I still decide to ignore him.
Placing my phone on the bedside table, I keep the towel wrapped around me as I slide beneath the crisp white sheets. I wonder if Raoul will come to find me when he gets home, or if he’ll be too tired. Maybe what’s happened tonight will have given him time to reconsider what we’re doing, and he will have changed his mind.
Earlier, when he’d asked me if I’d been scared about what would happen between us, I’d played it down. The truth is, I’m petrified. Hard limits and safe words sound serious and I've heard all the rumors about him, courtesy of Kendra.
I don’t want to be another one of Raoul Burlusconi’s whores.
But I’m more worried about what comes after. Just a kiss from him as a child had ruined me, and yet here I am waiting for him, at his mercy, prepared to let him destroy me all over again.
This isn’t just a one-night stand for me, this is tearing the flesh off old wounds and letting them bleed.
***
I stir against the pillow when I feel something soft touch against my forehead, and when I open my eyes and see Raoul sitting on the edge of the bed beside me, I can’t prevent the little smile that spreads onto my lips
“What are you doing in here?” he rasps, sounding drained.
“How’s Rhett?” I straighten up, making sure my towel is still in place.
“He’s alive, I spoke to him before I left the hospital, there’s no permanent damage.” Raoul stares at the floor, it’s obvious how tired and deflated he is, and I try to comfort him by sitting up and stroking my hand over his shoulder.
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. And you didn’t answer my question. What are you doing in here?” He glances back over his shoulder at me.
“I thought you might want some space when you got home, and this room isn’t too shabby.” I snuffle a little laugh, trying to lighten his mood, it gets a smile out of him, even if it is just a small one.
“I appreciate you being here.” He reaches out his hand to touch my face, his thumb making a tiny circle on my cheek. His gentleness takes me by surprise.
“I didn’t really have a choice.” When I wink at him, he moves quickly, leaning his body over mine and forcing me to lay back down onto the pillow.
