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I step closer, and she doesn’t seem shocked or protest as my face leans toward hers. In fact, she wets those lips again, the exact same way she had earlier by the lake, and I know that I have to be her first.
I can give Evelyn up for the greater good, but I will not give up this moment. I will forever own her first kiss, it will be our memory. And when I’ve lost all that’s decent from my soul, it will be the one good thing I can cherish.
My lips touch hers, and I inhale as her hand reaches into my hair, pressing me tighter to her like she’s scared I’ll stop.
I give her soft, and I give her gentle, just like she's dreamed about. I give her every single emotion that she’s made me feel since she skipped into my life five years ago. Then, I wonder how something so sweet can taste so bitter when the reality hits me that this isn’t just our first kiss. It’s our last.
I pull away from her slowly, backing up toward the window, and the pain that slashes through my chest brings a tear to my eye. It can’t be real though, because Burlusconi men don’t cry.
“Sleep well,” I whisper, pulling away and admiring the perfection of her one last time.
“Raoul?” My name sounds so different coming from her lips now, maybe it’s because it feels like it doesn't belong there anymore, or maybe it’s because I like the sound of it so damn much it makes me wish I could be someone else.
“Raoul,” she repeats, laughing nervously before leaping from her bed and racing toward me. She throws her arms around my neck, and places another kiss against my lips.
I’m too scared to wrap my arms around her body in case I can never let go of her.
“I love you.” She speaks the words in such a sweet whisper, yet I feel them sizzle on the inside like acid.
I want so much to tell her that I love her too. To let her know that I’ve loved her since the moment I first saw her and that there will never be another that I love the same, but when I raise my hand and touch it to her cheek, the moonlight glistens over the red mark my thumb leaves against her skin, and the bile that rises into my throat takes all the words out of me.
I can’t love this girl, and she can’t love me.
This is our moment. Our only moment. And as I turn my back on her and leap back out of her window, I wonder if she’ll ever forgive me for sacrificing her.
