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Fourteen
EVELYN
Raoul’s father's restaurant is every bit as classy as you would expect a restaurant on the boulevard to be, there’s a two-month waiting list for a table here, and that comes as no surprise after I’ve finished eating the food. What has surprised me tonight, is how intimate Raoul has been toward me while we’re in public. He keeps one of his hands in mine while we eat, his thumb stroking my hand in such a gentle way it almost makes me forget who he is.
We talk about my work, and he manages to avoid all my questions about his. He laughs when I share with him some of the things Rhett got up to while he was away in Sicily, and I try my best to play him at his own game, avoiding anything he asks me about my mother.
I don’t want to talk about the past tonight, not the bad things anyway. Raoul’s in a good mood, and I want to make the most of the time we have together.
When we’ve finished, Raoul excuses himself from the table to speak to the manager. I finish my glass of wine and send a photo to Kendra to make her jealous while I wait for him. Raoul returns, buttoning up his jacket and politely instructing the maître d’ to send his compliments back to the chef. Then sliding his hand into mine, he leads us out to his waiting car.
I notice the blood on his knuckles when he opens the door for me, and I can tell by the slightly satisfied look on Ludo’s face as he follows closely behind us that something has happened.
“What did you speak to the manager about?” I ask
“Business,” he passes me off, before instructing his driver to take us straight home.
“Business.” I noticeably drop my eyes to the hand that he has wrapped around the car door.
“Yes, Evelyn, everyone has a role to play in this organization, and sometimes people need bringing into line.”
I sink into the car and scoot across the seat, sometimes it’s too easy to forget who Raoul is. I think that’s part of my problem. Normal has never been enough for me. I've always been attracted to danger. Fabian is the latest example of a string of bad choices I’ve made over the years.
I lower my window and manage to take a few shots with my camera. The buildings are beautifully lit, and I manage to get a great shot of a reflection of one of them in a puddle that’s surrounded by trash.
“So what did happen to your mom? You’ve avoided my questions all night.” he asks once we’re out of the city and I've put my camera down in the space between us.
“She moved us out of state a few years after you left, she didn’t want to live in your father's pocket anymore.” I shrug. Hoping that will satisfy his curiosity.
“And why did you move back?” He peers at me harshly, proving that he’s not going to drop the subject. I simply shrug back at him.
“You're mad at me,” he states, and I can’t decide if he seems pissed off or upset by it.
“I’m not mad at you,” I reply. I’m not, really. I’m mad at myself for being so naive and forgetting how deep all this shit is.
“You are such a bad liar, Evelyn, you forget how well I know you.” He shakes his head at me like I’ve disappointed him, and I hate how his words affect me. Why does the thought of disappointing him make me feel so sad?
“You don’t know shit about me, Raoul,” I bite back at him, turning my face away from him to look out the window.
“I know that you dropped out of your high school and moved over eight hundred miles away from your mother. I know that you make really bad fucking choices when it comes to men. And I also know that you're too stubborn to ask anyone for help,” he hits back at me, lighting up one of his cigarettes, inhaling sharply, and then blowing the smoke out of the crack he’s made in the window.
“You want me to be impressed that you got your monkey to pull some paperwork on me?” I laugh, not giving a shit if I offend Ludo. “The truth is, Raoul, that you don’t know me at all. I’m not the thirteen-year-old girl who waited for you to come home anymore. I’m a woman, one who’s had to hold herself up when shit got tough.”
“I don’t get what I did wrong tonight.” Raoul flicks his cigarette out the window and turns his body into mine. He looks agitated, and I realize that, for once, I have the upper hand on him. Right now, he can’t read the thoughts that are going through my head and that makes me feel mighty fucking powerful.
“It’s nothing you did. It’s what I’ve done, it’s what we’re doing. I’m attracted to things that make me hurt. And you're right about one thing, I do make really bad decisions. This…” I flick my finger between us, “is going to be the worst of them. But I can’t stop myself from wanting it.”
“I won’t let you regret this.” Raoul slides his arm behind my back and pulls my body onto his, lifting my leg over his lap so my dress rides up my thighs as I straddle him. I look back over my shoulder and see that Ludo’s eyes are fixed forward on the road, and catch Raoul smirking when I turn back to face him.
“A memory is a powerful thing,” he tells me, forcing my hips to grind into his lap and making sure I feel the solid length of him beneath me.
“You know one kiss from these lips lasted me twelve years,” he whispers as his finger swipes over my mouth.
I rub against him, needing some friction, and hating that his slacks and my panties are a barrier between us.
“Mmm that’s right…” He narrows his eyes and nods his head, letting me know that I’m pleasing him. “I want you to come, right here right now without me touching you,” he whispers darkly.
I glance back over my shoulder and he grabs a fist full of my hair, twisting my attention back to him.
