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“When would we ever be?” I smile back at him bravely.
“Never, that’s the answer. I’m never going to be ready to let you go.” He forces me hard onto his lips and I use every bit of strength I have to push at his chest.
“Raoul, we can’t do this.” I try and get away from him but he slams me into the wall. Kissing me harder and making me forget all the reasons why this has to stop. Having him touch me again feels so welcome, but it only takes a few seconds for reality to attack my senses.
“Stop! I saw the room, the one that’s going to be a nursery,” I blurt out, swallowing the huge lump in my throat and wiping the tears from my eyes.
“The what?” Raoul looks at me confused.
“The room next to yours with the crib and all the stuff that’s meant for you and Briella. It’s what made me realize that I can’t do this. I want too much. I want forever.”
“What if I told you I could give you that?” The expression on his face is serious.
“Don’t be cruel, you know you can’t do that.” I shake my head and bite my lip to stop myself from sobbing.
“No, but I will,” he whispers, tucking my hair behind my ear the way he always does when he’s taking care of me.
“If I can find a way to give you forever, can you see past all the bad in me?”
“What about your family?” I stare at him, suddenly realizing how exhausted he looks.
“I want you to be my family. It’s what I’ve always wanted. And I’ve just fucking realized that I can’t have a forever without you. I’ll find a way, believe me, I will find a fucking way. But I need to know that you can accept me for who I am.”
“I never want you to take a life for me again.” I stand firm, it’s something I can’t look past.
“It’s not that simple, Ev, if anyone—” I place my finger over his lips.
“It’s my only request. I can see past what you do, and who you hurt, but I won’t have another person's life on my conscience. I need that promise from you.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” He drags my finger from his lip so he can kiss me.
“You have to.” I remain strong, despite how desperate I am to have his mouth on mine again.
“Then you have my word.” He looks me in the eyes, and promises before his mouth covers mine.
He shocks me when he rips open the blouse I’m wearing, and his hand cups me over my bra. I stretch out my neck when his lips touch the skin there, and I moan as he quickly shrugs out of his jacket and throws it at a chair.
“I need to be inside you right fucking now.” He lowers his hand down my torso and dips his fingers into the front of my jeans.
“I got my period,” I warn, clutching at his forearm to try and pry his hand back up my body.
“You think I give a fuck about that?” he growls against my neck, sinking his teeth into my collar bone and making me decide that I really don’t give a fuck either.
I need this as much as he does.
Raoul strips off his shirt then unbuckles his belt, and we work together to force my jeans off my hips. Once I’ve kicked them away, I feel his palms on my ass, squeezing me tight as he lifts me from the ground and braces me between his body and the wall.
“I can’t lose you.” He looks at me sincerely, as one of the hands he has on my ass cheeks slides between my legs and locates the string of my tampon. He makes a lopsided smile as he slowly tugs at it, edging it out of me and making it feel too good to be embarrassed about. He drops it to the floor once it’s removed completely, and looks down between our bodies. I follow his eyeline to his cock, and feel all the pent-up tension throbbing against where it rests. I watch him drip saliva from his mouth so it lands it on the tip of his cock, before he shifts me higher up the wall, and sinks himself inside me. “You feel that? It’s why we can never be apart,” his cock stirs slowly inside me, spreading fulfilment across my entire body and forcing me to accept that he’s right.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he orders, his thrusts becoming harder. I clutch his hair with my fingers and try to get the words out for him.
“Soon as you finish this period, you're going to let me knock you up to prove it.” He slides a hand up my body to lift up my chin and make me focus on what he’s saying.
“I mean it, I’ve waited long enough.” He kisses me, steadying his pace and lifting me up every time I slip.
“Raoul.” I clench my legs around his waist, my hips bucking into his uncontrollably as I come.
“That’s a good girl.” He fucks me harder, groaning into my mouth as he kisses me, and our bodies become slicker with sweat as we rub against each other.
