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“Silence.” He scolds me like I’m a five-year-old. “You will not speak of that again. It’s handled, do you understand?”
“Dad, we can’t ignore this. That file was at the crime scene, they will have taken it into evidence. There’s mention in there of someone called the Phoenix… I’ve been thinking about it all night, and it’s been right in front of me. This was Danny’s.” I pull at the sweater I’m wearing.
“Yes, what about it?” he hisses at me.
“The Phoenix, it’s the Chicago University emblem.” I point at the embroidered coat of arms on the chest. “Dad, that's not a coincidence.”
“Stop thinking, Alex. Your judgment is what got you in this mess. Now, do you want my help or not?”
I nod my head back submissively because I’m all out of options. I don’t want to go to prison, and I’m not in a position to argue.
“I’ve pulled in some favors I had from someone at the justice department, and it looks like you’re going to get away without serving time. You will have to accept that your career is pretty much over and that you’ll never carry a weapon again. I imagine it will be desk duties for the foreseeable if you are allowed to remain in the force.”
“Thank you.” It hurts me to say, but I feel like I can finally breathe again.
“Of course, there are some terms and conditions. For a start, you're coming back to Illinois, and that’s not up for negotiation. You will cut all ties with the biker, and that includes terminating your pregnancy.” He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms and searching for my reaction. But I have nothing for him. I’m blank.
“I lost my friend, Dad. Can we talk about this another time?”
“Not if you want to leave this station a free woman.” He shakes his head back sternly.
Resting my elbows on the table, I run my hands through my hair. “I love him, Dad,” I lay my heart out in front of him, admitting to him what I haven’t even admitted to myself, and I hate him for the bitter laugh he responds to it with.
“Which is exactly why I know you’re going to come with me.” He slams a file on the table in front of me.
“What's that?”
“Before Hawker went AWOL, he was building a case on the club. He was working with someone who used to be involved with them. Everything he had is in there. As far as I know, it’s the only copy. Hawker was keeping it close to his chest. I can only imagine the trouble it will cause the club if this were to fall into the wrong hands.”
“How did you get this?” I ask, flicking through pages and pages of evidence against the club.
“You’d be surprised what I can obtain, Alexandra, and what my reach is. You shot a man five times in the head, and you are going to walk straight out of that door with me, you won’t see the inside of a prison cell for it. Don’t doubt what I’m capable of.” His words sound much more like a threat than reassurance.
“And if I come with you, all this goes away?” I check, closing the file.
“Charges dropped, no trial, and that file will never see the light of day. The club can carry on with their business, but my daughter won’t be involved in it.” He shrugs.
I weigh out my options and realize I haven't got a choice. If I don't do as he asks, not only will the whole club suffer, but I’ll go to prison. And Squealer’s right, a cop doing time will be hell on earth.
“I’ll come home, but I have a few things to square up here first. Can you let me do that?” I ask him sarcastically.
“You have twenty-four hours, and if you're not back at home with a smile on that face for your mother, this file finds itself in the hands of the next ATF Agent who wants to be a big shot. Maybe when your head’s back on properly, you’ll understand why I’m doing this.”
“I understand already…” I remember the talk I had with Abby’s father in my office yesterday. There’s only one thing that matters to men like Mr. Barnes and my father, power.
“Damage control, right?”
He nods his head unashamedly, and I watch him stand up and walk to the door.
“And Alex,” he turns his head. “Best we keep this from your mother. It would break her heart to know her daughter’s a murdering slut.” He doesn't give me chance to respond, closing the door and leaving me alone in the room. I break down in tears, wondering how my life has come to this, at what point did I make the mistakes?
I think about the baby I’m carrying and what Squealer said before he was arrested. I never did give him the chance to talk. I just assumed he wasn’t ready to be a father. Did he want me to keep it? Do I want to?
None of it really matters now, because I don’t have a choice anymore.
Agent Davies comes in a few minutes later with my release papers, and I sign all the forms to relinquish my guns and badge pending the investigation. My car is waiting for me outside when I leave the station. I guess my father organized that too, and when I fish the keys out of the clear plastic bag I received on my release, I slide into the driver’s seat and head straight for the only place I want to be.
I can’t leave this town without seeing Squealer one last time, even if I know it’ll hurt.
