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“Doing what?” I huff a laugh. “Some private investigator, stalker kinda shit?”
“If Chop can turn private investigator, imagine the damage me and her could have done. If it’s done right, it’s a legit business, Squealer, and it brings in good money. I’ve been thinking about setting up my own company for a while now. I even got the all-clear from Prez.”
“And you think Alex would have set up with you?” I ask, confused. Being a cop was so important to Alex. She likes order and does things by the book. It’s one of the reasons I was convinced we’d never work. The Deputy sheriff and the outlaw is a good story, but it ain’t a fucking reality.
“Guess we’ll never know,” Maddy smiles sadly, touching her hand to my shoulder before making her way over to join Jessie and Dylan.
I think about what Maddy said for the rest of the day, and while the numbers at the club whittle to just a few, the sunset brings in the darkness. I stare at the phone and will myself to press the button.
Maddy’s right, if I never ask, I’ll never know.
The call rings through, and I wonder if it’s because she’s busy or because she doesn’t want to speak to me. It’s been over a week since she left, and I haven’t called. I didn’t even check if she made an appointment. I’m an asshole, a selfish fucking prick who never deserved a woman like Alex anyway. And on that note, I jump on my bike to go back to my cabin and drown my sorrows alone.
“I’m taking the kids back to ours, so Ella and Nyx can stay.” Maddy slides her hand around my waist and kisses the corner of my mouth.
“Sure thing, darlin’, want me to come with?”
“You stay,” she yawns, “these two are tired, and I’m probably gonna end up sleeping too. Just bring my laptop when you come up. Grace’s been using it to play some of Abby’s playlists.”
I remember Carly doing the same thing on the day we buried Hayley. That all seems like a lifetime ago, and I smile back sadly at Maddy, wondering if she recalls the same memory.
“You look after my girl,” I point my finger at Dylan when Maddy lifts him up, and he grabs it in his hand and twists it before sticking his tongue out at me.
“Nyx has got to stop letting his kids hang around with Squealer,” I laugh before picking up baby Sofia’s car seat and carrying her over to Ella’s car. Maddy buckles Dylan into his seat, and I fix the car seat into its base, making sure it’s secure before I nod the okay to Maddy.
It’s a touchy subject between us, but I can’t help wondering if this will ever be us, loading our family up. I don’t dwell on it though, today’s sad enough without thinking over that shit.
“We keeping ‘em overnight?” I ask, moving around the car and rearranging Maddy’s hips so they’re square with mine.
“I told Ella I would, but Sofia’s still so tiny, they’re gonna swing by and pick them up on the way home.”
“Keep the bed warm for me?” I kiss her goodbye before heading back into the club to join the others.
What happened to Abby has hit people hard. Some a lot more than others. Brax spent a lot of his time getting Abby clean, and he’s not said much at all since we found out what happened to her. His eyes are staring at the glass on the table in front of him while Grace strokes her fingers through his hair, speaking words of comfort to him that I doubt are registering.
The music’s stopped playing, and the room is full of chattering voices, and when I see my sister, Shaniya, heading out to the foyer, I see an opportunity to catch her alone.
“Shan.” I catch the door before it closes and step out with her. “How ya holding up?”
This is the first death she’s experienced since being part of the family. She only knew Abby a short while, but they were getting closer.
“It’s so sad. I wish I’d known her better. She was always so kind to me.” When she offers me a sad smile, I catch a glimpse of our dad in it. I see him all the time in her expressions, and it’s fucking weird. Awesome, kinda weird.
“How’s Troj taking what happened?” My best friend’s handling the Hawker situation way better than I would. Thinking about making Hawker suffer for what he did has been Troj’s therapy for the last few months.
“Surprisingly well, things didn’t go how he wanted it to, but, at the end of the day, Hawker’s dead. And that makes me rest easier.”
“It makes us all rest easier.” I smile at her, then take a deep breath before I tackle the real reason I wanted to speak to her.
“Look, Shan, Troj told me about the letters you’ve been getting from the hospital.” Shit, this is awkward, but I’m figuring it comes in the big brother job description, and I’m taking those responsibilities seriously.
“Jessie,” Shaniya shakes her head dismissively, clearly feeling as fucking awkward as I am.
“You need to go,” I make my voice as soft as I can get it.
“I—”
“Look, I’m still figuring out how this works, but that don’t change the fact I’m your big brother, and if you need me, I’m there, okay?” I narrow my eyes into hers to make sure she knows I mean it.
