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“You okay?” She sounds worried when I tuck us away in a quiet corner and cage her in by resting my hand against the wall.
“Stay with me tonight.” My words come out like a fucking order, and for a second, I wonder if she’ll decline purely out of stubbornness.
“You want me to stay at your cabin?” she checks, looking shocked. Christ, hearing it back at me makes it sound so… committed.
“Yeah, that’s what I want,” I tell her confidently, sticking to my guns. I can do this. Guys have women stay at their places all the time. Fuck some stupid code I made up to stop the club sluts from getting attached. Alex isn’t one of them.
“That's quite the gesture. I was thinking you were much more a fuck me around the back and send me on my way type.” She’s really making me work for this.
“Why are you trying to make this hard for me?” I ask, searching her face for a fucking clue on what she wants out of me. I always figured if I got myself all tied up and giving a fuck about a female, she’d at least be grateful for it.
Alex eventually lets the smile she’s been holding back spread to her cheeks.
“Squealer, I’ll stay,” she agrees, and I do all I can to ignore the soar of relief it puts in my chest.
“You know people are gonna ask questions about us. I’ve been hanging out here a lot recently, and now with me staying.” She's pretending it isn’t a big deal, but this is huge. I’ve never had a girl stay with me before, this is starting to go far beyond a few meaningless fucks, and she knows it. Still, the thought of spending the night beside her outweighs all the confusion this is gonna cause. There’s a confidence in her smile, one that suggests she wants more. But I don’t trust my instincts these days, not while my head’s fucking with me.
“Everyone knows we’re exclusive. I ain’t ever made a secret of it. I just don’t know much about how to do this.”
“Do what?” Alex pokes for more.
“You being here, I feel like I should be taking care of you, like they do,” my eyes flick over to where Troj and Jessie are standing with their arms propped on their old ladies' shoulders. “But we’re not like them, are we?”
“I don’t need looking after. I feel comfortable here. A lot has changed since I came to town, Squealer,” she assures me.
“And I’m not a big fan of PDA anyway.” She taps her fingers at my jaw as she moves back over to join my friends.
I follow, deciding to let my natural instincts take over, and sit on the stool behind her, sliding my arm around her waist and pulling her body back onto mine. I don’t know if I do it to piss her off because she just said she doesn't like PDA, or if I do it because I just really fuckin’ want to… I don’t know anything anymore.
Alex looks over her shoulder at me, her eyes wide and confused, and the circle around us all look just as shocked.
“As you were,” I nod for Jessie to carry on what he was saying, feeling Alex’s body slowly relax into mine.
So my first experience of a Dirty Souls party is going way better than I expected. I feel like a stranger to myself, but it’s nice. Over the past couple of hours, I’ve felt myself unwind, and although it takes a bit of getting used to, I’ve actually started to enjoy myself. Parties and get-togethers were never about having fun when I was a kid, they were about making an impression, and old habits die hard. I’ve never been to a social gathering unless I saw it as beneficial professionally. But tonight is different. I came here because I wanted to be close to Squealer. I want to understand him better. Things here are eventful. Maddy, Gracie, and Shaniya seem unaffected by the sexual acts that are taking place in the corner of the room. I can’t decide if they turn a blind eye to it or if they have just become so used to it that it doesn’t faze them. And it’s strange that after time, the conversations I’m having with these people completely distract me from it too.
The Souls don't seem fazed by me either. They talk about Troj’s latest illegal fight and smoke joints. A few of them even snort some coke in full view of me. These people really do trust me, that, or they just don’t give a fuck. Either way, I like being among the chaos.
“I think you should take me home.” Squealer weighs down my shoulder with his heavy arm. He started knocking back the shots after I agreed to spend the night at his cabin. It seems like a big deal to him, so maybe he’s nervous, or perhaps he’s just relaxed, knowing I’m not going anywhere.
“You’re real pretty; you know that?” His finger twists around a strand of my hair as his other hand slides over my top and cups one of my tits.
“I really think you should get him home,” Grace laughs when I try my best to hold in my yawn, but fail completely.
“I think you're right.” I attempt to shift Squealer's heavy weight off my body.
“You want a hand?” Brax asks, but Screwy’s already on his feet, dragging his brother up by the arm.
“Hope you weren’t hoping for much of a performance tonight,” Prez chuckles, watching Screwy start to move him toward the doors.
“Hey, it ain’t about that shit.” Squealer lifts his head up to slur back at him, but his eyes remain closed. “We all gotta start respecting bitches, and their lady business,” he stutters, managing to just about hold his own body weight.
“He really is drunk.” Brax laughs, taking his seat again and kicking his legs up on the table.
“When you watch a child come into the world, you’ll see it for yourself. It’s…” Squealer pauses and then gags a little. “It changes you…” his head falls onto his brother's shoulder, and he slumps.
“Come on.” I take his other arm and throw it over my shoulder. “Thanks for tonight, I had a great time.” I look back at the table full of people who have made me feel so welcome.
“Stay,” Squealer slurs as his brother kicks the double doors open, and we carry him out into the fresh air. “I know I’m all hammered and shit, but I still want you to stay.”
