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“Then it’s done. We’re getting married.” I stand up and dust off my hands on my jeans before I offer them to her to help her up.
“What?” Lydia looks at me like I’ve gone insane as she scrambles onto her feet.
“I’ll have Maddy sort out whatever paperwork needs doing, and we’ll be married. Sooner it’s done, the better. I ain’t having you carrying that man’s name no more.”
“Just like that?” She stares back at me looking memorized.
“Yeah, just like that.” I take the tin from her hand and slide it into my back pocket when an idea suddenly comes to me.
“Come on. I got somewhere else I wanna take you.”
“What is this place?” I ask when Screwy pulls off the main road. The van bounces over the rough terrain until we reach the brow of the hill, and I see the huge lake in front of us.
It’s much bigger than the one back at the club, and the surrounding space is open and barren.
He parks up, and I notice the few picnic benches that are scattered around. No one’s here. It’s far too early, even for the fishermen.
“This is where my mom is, isn’t it?” I don’t know how I know. The memories I have of that night are blackened by darkness and so vague. All I remember is being in the car and being afraid.
“Yeah,” Screwy whispers, staring out the windshield with me and watching the morning breeze move over the water.
The sun shimmers on the surface, glistening over her tomb, and I wish I could remember something about her.
“I wanted you to see how pretty it is here,” he tells me, resting back in his seat and sliding his arm around my shoulder.
We sit in the silence together, staring at the water with just the thoughts in our heads.
I think about the woman I’ll never know and pray that one day I’ll have some memories I can treasure.
“We could go to the cops. I know a decent one. They’ll dive and try to find her,” Screwy eventually breaks the silence. “Or we can leave her to rest here? Whatever you want.”
He keeps his tone calm and understanding, and I blink back tears as I nod back at him.
“I think I want her to stay here. This is a nice place. It’s peaceful. Maybe we can visit from time to time?” I turn my head and face him.
“Anything you want,” Screwy agrees. I kiss his cheek before I shift out of his arms and get out of the van, making my way closer to the water’s edge.
The beach is made up of tiny pebbles and stones, and I crouch down and scrunch them under my fingers.
“Not too close to the edge, baby.” Warm arms snatch me up around the waist, lifting me up and spinning me around in the air. Her lips touch my cheek, and I know she’ll leave a lipstick mark there.
“This one’s pretty,” I hold up the white crystallized rock for her to see.
“It’s beautiful,” she agrees. Her bright blue eyes glimmer in the sunlight, and her dark blonde hair is piled high on her head. When it’s sunny, she always gets freckles. I got so jealous once that I drew some on myself with a felt-tip pen. Mama found that funny.
“I want you to have it for your collection,” I tell her.
Mama keeps a jar at home next to her bed. It’s half full of tiny stones and pebbles like this one. She tells me each one of them has a memory, and when we lay in on Sundays, she tells me some of them.
“I’ll treasure it like all the others.” She kisses the stone in my hand before placing me back on my feet.
“Mama,” I whisper her name as the memory fades away from me, and I feel something wrap around my shoulders. It’s too warm to be the breeze, and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“You okay?” Screwy comes at me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smile out at the water gratefully. That memory felt a lot like a gift.
“She’s happy here.” I slide my hand over the arm Screwy has wrapped around me. I’m probably making no sense. But he doesn’t question me. Just stands and appreciates the peace with me for as long as I need him to.
