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The man who drags me away is gentle and looks sad as he steers me out the door and away from Screwy. What I just told him caused all this. It triggered something inside him, and now it’s my fault that he’s hurting.
“He’ll be okay,” He assures me when we’re outside, and he lets me go. “Name’s Troj.” Offering me a friendly smile, he pushes his long, wavy hair out of his face.
He guides me onto the porch next door, knocks on the door, and waits awkwardly beside me for it to be answered.
“Oh… hey,” Alex’s eyes flick between the two of us like she’s surprised to see us together, and I stare at my feet to avoid the confused look she’s giving Troj as she lets us in.
“Screwy kinda lost his shit,” Troj scratches the back of his head while he attempts to explain.
“Over what? Are you okay?” Alex wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to her.
“It’s my fault,” I admit, trying hard not to cry. These people care about Screwy. They’re his family. They are going to hate me for making him hurt. “We got talking, and I told him some of the things my trainer used to do to me. It made him really mad.” Tears fill my eyes when I remember the look on Screwy’s face and how every muscle in his huge bulky body had tensed.
“I’m sorry.” I sob as Alex wraps her other arm around me and holds me as close as her stomach will allow her to.
“Squeal’s with him now. He said to bring her here,” Troj adds.
“I got her. You should go see if Squealer needs any help.” Alex sends Troj away, and when the door closes leaving just the two of us, I allow myself to sink even lower.
“He was so mad, Alex… I didn't mean to make him angry. I was trying to get him to understand. Screwy’s a good person. I think he thinks he’s bad and…”
“Shhh, it’s okay.” Alex strokes my hair in an attempt to calm me down. “Screwy’s unique. We all see the good in him. You did nothing wrong. He just cares about you, that’s all. He doesn’t like the idea of anything bad happening to you.” Leading me over to the couch, she eases me down and takes a seat beside me. “Squealer will make him feel better,” she assures me.
We sit together, with her hand in mine, until the door crashes open and Squealer storms through it, he almost looks as mad as Screwy was.
“You okay?” Alex rushes to her feet, looking concerned.
“Yep, just fucking dandy,” Squealer rests his hands on either side of the sink and lowers his head, the exact same way Screw had back at his cabin. The pair of them are alike in more ways than just looks.
After a few moments of silence, he lifts his head back up and takes a long breath back through his nostrils.
“You good, girl?” He's looking at me now, and I’m taken aback by how calm he’s managed to make himself in such a short time.
“Fine,” I nod back at him, though I’m not sure if that’s true. I want to know where Screwy is so I can make sure he’s okay.
“I was gonna suggest that me and…” Alex stops herself.
“Lydia, my name is Lydia. I had a flashback, just a small one. It was the knitting that brought it back to me. Someone was teaching me, and she called me Lydia. I think it was my mama.”
“That's great news,” Alex sounds genuinely excited for me. “I was gonna see if you were ready to talk. If you can remember something, even something small. Maddy has awesome software that we can use to go through missing person reports.”
“I need to see Screwy,” I tell them both, and I don't miss the shake of the head Squealer subtly gives Alex. I try to keep it together, but I can't bear the thought of him not wanting to see me.
“I don't want to remember today,” I tell Alex tearfully. “It hurts my head when I do. I could teach you how to knit. We could start making a blanket for the babies.” I need a distraction. I like the way it feels when my mind switches off and I have something else to focus on. The memories seem to come easier to me when I’m not searching for them.
“Sure, whatever you want to do.” Alex smiles warmly. “Although I think you’re gonna have your work cut out, these hands aren't crafty at all.”
“Not unless you're handling the right equipment, huh, darlin’?” Squealer winks, and when he grabs hold of the front of his jeans, I quickly look away. I can’t figure out if this is a performance to lighten the mood or if he really is over whatever made him angry.
“Get out of here. We’ll meet you down at the club later,” Alex tells him.
“You really think that’s a good idea?” Squealer looks back at her doubtfully.
“Yes, I do. Lydia here, is gonna meet everyone properly and see that we’re not all complete savages.”
“Okay, but bitches bar only to start with. I ain't gonna be able to hold Screwy back if Tac tries pulling a move on her.”
“Ladies bar only,” Alex corrects him and agrees to his terms at the same time.
