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“They got to ya too, huh?” she sighs, and despite having no idea what she means, I smile back at her, anyway.
“Guess I’ll be seeing ya later.” She pushes her glasses back up her nose and hops into a white car before the wheels skid up dust, and she speeds off.
Back in Screwy’s cabin, it feels too quiet. I have no idea how long he will be working at the garage or how long Maddy will be at the store. So I distract myself by setting to work tidying up the dishes and making sure the pot that Maddy’s Mom brought our pot roast in is washed. I clean the sides with a cloth, and when that's done, I move to the living room, clear up the empty bottles and fluff the couch cushions.
The place looks much neater when I’m done. Not quite as homely as Maddy’s place, but still better than it was. Then, when there's nothing left to do, I take a seat on the couch and wait for someone to return.
“What ya doing here? You're not on the schedule.” Troj looks up from the hood he’s bent over when he notices me. I shrug at him and stomp to the back office to grab some overalls.
“Since you are here, though, you think you can handle things on your own for a bit? I promised Shan I’d get some shit for the party we’re having tonight. You’re coming, right?” he checks, but again I don’t respond to him. Instead, I pick up the clipboard from the bench and check it over. There’s only a small list of jobs, nothing I can’t handle. “Tawk will be back in about an hour with that radiator from Sparky's,” he tells me cheerily, and I think back to yesterday when Tawk had me pinned down, keeping me from getting to her.
I stare at Troj for a while, trying to get the image of her fear outta my head, then eventually decide to speak up.
“Get going,” I flick my eyes towards the door, and Troj’s mouth breaks into a wide smile
“It’s good to hear ya, man. I’m assuming it’s got something to do with that girl you're stowing away up in your cabin.”
I frown back at him and get straight to work, taking the broken radiator out of the Dodge.
“You should bring her tonight. You don’t know how long she’s gonna be here for, and the girls could be really good for her. I’m not saying you gotta treat her like an old lady or nothin’, but she’s sleeping in your cabin, and she’s all up in your space. We all know what that shit leads to.” Troj rests his ass against the chassis and wipes his greasy hands with an, equally, dirty rag. He speaks way too fucking much. I never noticed that until right this second.
“I’ll be back soon. We’ll get these jobs done and, hopefully, knock off early.” He tosses the rag at me and starts stepping out of his overalls. Once I’m alone, I throw myself into work, taking the time to clear my mind and calm myself down.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I kissed Lydia this morning. Of all the stupid things I’ve done, that one has to be right fucking up there.
It’s confusing not just for her, but for me, and I can’t keep doing it. What she’s going through right now is strange enough without me blowing hot and fucking cold on her.
It doesn’t matter how good it feels or the fact I’m sure that she needs it every bit as much as I do. It’s wrong. Lydia is vulnerable. She trusts me, and I have to do the right thing for her.
That’s to keep her safe, find out who she is, and get her reunited with her family.
Troj sticks to his word and is back within a few hours, and with me, him and Tawk working together, we get the work done by mid-afternoon.
I’m just pulling down the garage door when one of the cages pulls up in the yard with the horn blasting loudly.
“Rogue know you're locking up early?” Squealer jumps out of the driver's seat confidently.
“Got everything done, and last I checked, she wasn’t the boss,” Troj tells him, slipping his cut back over his shoulders.
“You wanna see what I got in the back?” My brother raises his eyebrows playfully. He looks way too pleased with himself for this not to be leading to trouble.
“I don’t think I do,” Troj shakes his head.
“Oh, you do. So… your old lady told my old lady that we’re having a party tonight.” Squealer moves around to the side door, and we all follow him. When he pulls it open, there are four large kegs and ten crates of whiskey.
“Where the fuck you get this?” Troj laughs.
“I saw a truck pulled up at a rest stop and took an opportunity.”
“You know Shaniya’s family is coming too, right?” Troj flicks his eyes towards Tawk, he’s from the same reservation Troj's old lady, Shaniya came from, but he’s becoming more and more Dirty Soul as each day passes.
“The more the fucking merrier. And I’m counting on that uncle of hers bringing some of his herbal shit to smoke around the campfire,” Squeal slaps Tawk hard on the back of his Prospect jacket.
“I’ll drop this straight on up to your cabin. You wanna ride up?” Squealer checks. Troj takes him up on the offer, but I head for my bike. I’m not ready to go home yet. I don't know if Lydia will be there waiting for me.
After what happened yesterday and then this morning, I can’t trust myself around her.
I may be soulless, but I know right from wrong, and she’s making it real hard for me to fucking practice it.
