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“Rafe,” I whisper his name. Not wanting to startle him, but at the same time, needing to wake him from his misery.
He doesn’t respond— his eyes only squeeze shut tighter. “Don’t leave me,” he whispers, his voice so broken it’s barely recognizable. “Please don’t leave me.”
“Rafe, you need to wake up. You’re drea—” The words get stuck in my throat when a pain slices through my stomach, and I feel a warm gush soak the space between my legs.
“Rafe.” My hand grips at his arm, as suddenly reality dawns on me.
This is it. Our baby is coming.
“Rafe,” I call his name again, this time a little more desperately. “It’s time,” I tell him, trying my best not to panic. When his eyes flick open, and I see the agony inside them, the crushing pain in my abdomen is suddenly consumed by the sadness in my heart.
I run through the woods, and despite the air around me being so open and fresh, it feels suffocating. The weight of the trees collapses around me, their darkness closing in tighter and tighter.
Through the dark, I can hear her calling out for me. She’s scared, she’s in pain, and I’m gulping in air, trying to breathe. I know I need to get to her, but I’m so scared all I want to do is run in the opposite direction.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. All this is my fault. She thinks she needs me, but she doesn’t. What she needs is medical attention. A hospital. But the risk is too great, and I’m too fucking selfish.
When I reach her, she looks so relieved to see me. Like I’m the one who’s going to make this all go away. But I’m not a cure for her pain. I’m the creator of it.
I’ve ruined her life, and from the way she’s screaming, it feels like tonight might be the end of it.
We’re all alone out here, just the two of us, stranded with our fear and surrounded by blackness. There’s nothing but the cold, and as her body trembles against mine, and she begs me not to let anything happen to her. I just know that something’s wrong…
“Rafe. It’s time— the baby’s coming.” I feel the tension in the fingertips that press into my sweaty skin. I hear the pain in her voice, and when I force my eyes open it’s Riley that I see. Her eyes are wide and fearful as she puffs tiny breaths of air from her mouth. And I have to shut away all my fears and be strong for her.
“Shit!” I shoot up from the bed, and when she pulls the covers away from her legs, I see that she really means it.
“My water broke, and I had a definite pain,” she tells me with a brave smile on her lips.
“I’ll call Viktor.” I scramble to pull on some clothes and locate my cell. My fingers fumble as I scroll through my contacts to Viktor’s name. I’ve rehearsed this moment in my head a thousand times over, and yet now, when it’s important, my mind feels completely blank.
Viktor answers his phone efficiently, assuring me he will be with us within twenty minutes, and I quickly turn my attention back to Riley.
“How far apart are the pains?” I ask, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed and rubbing the heel of my palm into her lower back. The book said it helps with relaxation. I remember that part, at least. And when I suddenly become very aware of the fact that we will be alone in this for twenty whole fucking minutes, I feel my throat starting to close up.
“Relax, I haven’t had another one yet. We have plenty of time,” she assures me, which is ridiculous, considering she’s the one in fucking labor here.
I really need to pull myself together. To forget my nightmare and push aside my anxieties so I can be here for Riley.
“Sorry about the bed.” She cringes as she looks over her shoulder at the huge damp patch in the center. As if I’d be worried about the state of the goddamn bed at a time like this.
“Holy shit!” Her body turns rigid, her face scrunches in pain, and I feel fucking helpless.
Taking her hand in mine, I remind her to breathe because that’s all I can do. I can’t make her pain go away. I can’t ensure that all this is going to go okay. I can’t control anything, and it’s making my throat tighten like I'm suffocating.
Viktor arrives within fifteen minutes and sets straight to work, checking Riley over. I call for Sylvia, who seems to know all the right things to say to Riley when she has one of her pains, and in between, she busies herself, stripping the bed and laying down the protective sheets that Viktor brought with him.
Riley’s fucking incredible. She’s calm, she’s focused, and keeps ensuring me that she’s okay, which only proves what a shit job I’m doing of keeping it together for her.
I grow more and more anxious as the hours pass by. Riley is starting to look shattered. The pains have been coming every five minutes for ages, and I see the look of terror on her face each time she feels the next one start.
She’s managed to find a comfortable position straddling a chair by the balcony door, and I crouch behind her, rubbing her back in my feeble attempt at doing something useful.
“Why is it taking so long?” She looks over her shoulder at me wearily. Viktor and Sylvia have left us alone to go and get something to eat downstairs, and I try to think of something to say to her that will make her better.
“These things take time.” I massage my fingers into her back a little harder.
“They’re getting worse and closer together. I think I should take some of that gas and air.” She grimaces as another contraction ripples through her body.
