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Raphael stands up from the table and brings Gabriel to me, placing him in my lap. He kisses his cheek and ruffles his hair before he redirects his lips to the top of my head.
“You know I like to keep my business and my home life separate, Riley… Sophia will be here at noon, and I will be back in time for dinner. Get some rest. I intend to keep you up for most of the night.” I sense a threat in his tone, and I wonder if my paranoia has invented it. The worst thing about his promise is the fact that I know I will enjoy what he has planned for me.
Raphael has full control over my body. He knows how to pleasure it, and despite all my suspicions, I still crave him like I’m a junkie, and he’s my fix.
When he leaves the room, I feel the air lift, and all of a sudden, it’s easier to breathe. Gabriel looks up at me and smiles. He still has berry juice around his mouth, so I clean him up with a napkin before I cuddle him close to my chest. I feel guilty whenever I look at him these days. He’s an innocent little child. He never asked to be born into this world. He loves his daddy unconditionally, and I know whatever decision I make will affect him one way or another.
The weight of that pressure crushes me.
Rafe says goodbye to us half an hour later, and Sylvia wastes no time fussing around Gabriel, insisting that she take him into the garden to look for bugs. I wait until I hear her chatter off through the patio doors with him excitedly before doing a quick scan around me for any signs of Ricardo, then heading into Rafe’s office.
I’ve been inside Rafe’s office lots of times before, but never alone. And suddenly, I have no idea what I’m actually looking for. I’m surprised that his laptop is still here since he left for business, but I figure it’s a good place to start. When I lift up the top and see the selfie of the three of us as his screensaver, guilt drops into the pit of my stomach like a heavy brick. We all look so happy, and it makes me want to shut the laptop down and never know the answers to all my questions. But for the sake of my own sanity, I know I can’t.
The laptop is password protected, so I try all the obvious ones first. Gabriel, Gabriel’s date of birth, my name. Nothing seems to be working. And not wanting to waste precious time, I try his desk drawers while I think up some other possible password ideas. The top drawer is locked, but the ones below open freely, and I quickly flick through all the paperwork that’s neatly filed away.
There are five brown files, and I pull out the one that’s labeled Chicago, because I know that’s where Raphael has gone today. The first page inside has a heading of today’s date, and below it is a list. One that makes my blood turn cold.
Lot A - brunette, green eyes - 23 - broken - starting bid 200,000
My fingers tremble, and my eyes fill with tears as I read on.
Lot B - brunette, brown eyes - 19- virgin - starting bid 400,000
There are more. Five, to be precise, and I shut the file after seeing far more than I need to.
I can’t stop my hands from shaking when I try to place them back. There is no more hope of me being wrong. The evidence is black and white, and I feel my heart bleeding from it.
I know what I need to do. I’ve been thinking rationally for a few days now and Rafe not being here is the best opportunity I’m going to have to run. I just wish I wasn’t so broken inside. I feel too weak to stand on my feet right now, let alone try to break out of this place.
Rafe has guards everywhere, and I know Ricardo won’t be too far away. But I have to try. I can deal with my emotions later when me and Gabriel are free from this place.
I close the drawer and move toward the door, being careful as I open it in case there’s someone lurking in the hall.
I stay still when I hear voices.
“I know he called you, but I’m telling you I don’t want you here,” Ricardo speaks harshly to his sister.
“You're being crazy. Rafe says Riley’s under the weather and needs cheering up, and the girl needs her infills done. It’s been three weeks.”
“Sophia, this isn’t a fucking joke. Raphael is losing his shit. He’s dangerous to be around right now. If you knew the stuff I’ve had to do just lately, you wouldn’t question me. Just get back in your car and drive back home.”
“Stuff, what stuff? Is this why you weren’t at dinner on Sunday? Mama was pissed as hell, you know—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Soph, just fucking listen to what I’m saying,” Ricardo interrupts her, his voice becoming more and more frustrated.
“Rafe will be pissed at me if I let him down,” Sophia says, and I imagine her crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.
“I’ll make up an excuse, say you were sick. He wouldn’t want you here if he thought you risked Riley and Gabe getting sick too.” Ricardo has referred to Gabriel as Gabe since he was born. The two of them have become so close Rafe has even asked him to be his godfather. Not that there has been a christening, but that’s a story for another time.
“Sophia, get the fuck out of here!” Ricardo orders her one last time, and I sigh with disappointment as I hear her heels click against the wood floor, moving further and further away.
I don’t know what I was expecting from her visit. Would I have told her what I had found out? Asked her for help even though I knew it would endanger her?
Ricardo is right through. She is better off leaving this place. Now I have to ensure that I can do the same.
Checking the coast is clear, I slide into the hall and rush up the stairs to my room. I know there’s a small suitcase under the bed that Rafe uses when he spends a night away, but I wonder how I’m going to carry that with Gabriel. Maybe I could take a car to give me a head start. I could drive into town and hop on a bus to anywhere that’s far away.
I quickly change into something more practical. A pair of yoga pants and a blouse. Then I pile a sweater over the top, despite the heat. The less I have to carry for myself, the more I can pack for Gabriel.
