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I turn toward Kyler, seeing him giving me the exact same look of irritation and hurt. “It was fucked up, Lakyn. You don’t even know how bad we all got.” He shakes his head, walking away after giving me one more disappointed glance.
Posie stands off to the side, biting on her lip as she glances off at the water. She sniffles, her nose wrinkling. I take a step toward her, and she tenses slightly. I can feel how closed off she is, and I am instantly on edge. “Posie?” I ask her softly.
She shakes her head, her hand going up and batting away a stray tear. “I’m not mad at you, Lakyn. You had no choice; you didn’t want it by any means, but it doesn’t mean that it hurt any less than it did. It doesn’t mean we weren’t terrified of losing you, or that we’d never see you again. Finding you gone was painful for each of us in a different way. It fractured us all individually, and as a whole. It took a while for us to find our footing again, and I guess, it’s left a scar, in a way.”
My eyes water, and I step toward her, wrapping my arms around her. I squeeze her tight, holding her closely as I breathe her in. “I love you, Posie. I’m sorry for everything.”
She wraps her arms around my waist, holding me tightly. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty,” I sigh.
I didn’t want to be here, but even more so now, I want nothing but to go home and sleep it off.
I step back, running my fingers through my messy hair. “I’m going to take a walk.”
She frowns at me. “Do you want me to come with you?”
I shake my head slowly, glancing into the tree line. The dark woods that will hide me for just a moment, just so I don’t have to feel the stares any longer. “No. I just need a breather.”
Her brow furrows in concern.
“I’ll be okay, promise. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She nods, looking unsure. I turn around, walking away from her, toward the side of the boat. My fingers wrap around the tree that’s grown into the side, my fingers brushing the dried bark. It scrapes against my smooth skin, and I grab onto it as I leap, landing on a flat rock. I hop across the large boulders until I hit the ground, landing only a few feet away from a group of girls.
“Hey, Lakyn,” a girl says from a nearby chair. She has a red Solo cup in hand, and she looks familiar. She was definitely in one of my classes, though I don’t recall her name.
“Hey.” I give her a nod.
“Glad to have you back. Where were you?” Nosy as fuck, this one.
My brows lift before a smile overtakes my face. “Out west in a small town callednone of your fucking business.”
Her eyes widen, and then she scowls at me. “Rude, as always. Same fucking Lakyn.”
“Damn right.” I give her another nod and walk away, sand kicking up behind me and hitting her shins. This girl isn’t even an acquaintance, and she thinks she has the right to ask where the hell I’ve been.
Idiot.
I walk up the hill, to the tall, overgrown brush as I head into the woods. People lean against the trees, smoking and drinking. Someone has a speaker playing, Slipknot blaring into the night.
I just need to get away, from the noise, from the people, from the mess of my mind. I need to calm myself before I snap on a stranger, or one of my closest friends.
I go deep into the woods, until it’s so dark I can barely see a foot in front of me. My fingers graze the branches, the thick pines, the low-hanging leaves that fall to the ground, dried from the fall, crunching under my shoes. I don’t stop, continuing until I hit a clearing on the other end of the woods, far enough away I can’t be seen from the boat or the crowd.
The ground is flatter here, more rocky sand than large boulders. Bending down, I tug off my boots, then curl my fingers under my socks and pull them off too, tucking them inside my shoes. I set them against a tree stump before spinning around, heading toward the water.
The gravel digs into the soles of my feet, but the discomfort is welcoming, taking away from the feeling in my chest. The unease of being home, the agony of seeing Reign, the anger at the stares. All of it, it’s just too much.
I walk into the water, stepping into the cool waves until it laps at my ankles. A strangled breath escapes my chest, the tension leaving me, only slightly, releasing the discomfort that’s been trapped in my bones since arriving at the ship.
I let the edges of the waves cascade, cooling my overheated skin. The sounds of the party echo in the distance, but I focus on the water lapping at the shore. Quiet, steady.
Crack.
My head whips over my shoulder, and I squint into the pitch blackness, trying to find any form of life.
“Hello?” I ask loudly.
