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I shrug. “I can’t hide from him forever.” Not if he’s going to remain my bodyguard. And losing him isn’t an option.
“Come on in, Jason,” Ian calls.
The door opens, and Jason walks in. His eyes are immediately on me. “Hi, Layla.”
I shift my gaze back out toward the lake. “Hi.”
After giving me a quick hug, Ian stands. “I think I’ll go downstairs and help Tyler with—whatever. You guys talk.” And then he disappears out the door, leaving Jason and me alone.
Jason approaches the bench where I’m sitting. “Is it okay if I join you?” He points at the spot Ian just vacated. “Can I sit?”
When I shrug, he sits beside me and stares out at the water across Lake Shore Drive. “This is one helluva view, isn’t it?”
I nod. “Ian bought this place because of the view.”
Slowly, Jason reaches for my wrist and holds it up so he can examine the smear of blood on my sleeve. “How did you hurt yourself? You didn’t have a knife, did you?”
“No.” I pull my wrist free. “I scratched myself.”
“With what?”
“My fingernails.”
He sighs. “Can I see?”
I pull up my left sleeve, and he gently holds my arm as he inspects the scratches on the inside of my wrist. The bloody marks are mostly dried. He doesn’t say anything about the old scars there, the ones that have faded to fine white lines and nicks.
“Can you tell me why you did it?” he asks. His voice is gentle, and it doesn’t feel judgmental. It’s more curious than anything, like he really wants to understand.
He’ll never understand you. You’re a nutjob. You’re crazy.
“Because sometimes the pain of scratching or cutting drowns out the other pain I’m feeling here.” I press my hand over my heart.
“Did it work?”
“No. It just made me feel worse because I knew my family would be disappointed in me.”
“I don’t think they’re ever disappointed in you, Layla.” He slides his hand down to mine and links our fingers together. “They just worry about you. Will you tell me why you felt such pain?”
I shake my head. “I’d rather not get into it.”
“Layla, please. If I’m going to be your bodyguard, I need you to trust me with everything that bothers you.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Of course it matters.”
“No, it doesn’t. Anyway, I’ve decided to go out with Reese.”
“What?” He sounds surprised. “Are you sure? I thought it was the idea of going out with Reese that set you off.”
“No, it wasn’t that.” Jason has no clue about how I feel. “Besides, it’s irrelevant now. Yes, I’ll go out with Reese. I’ll tell him when I see him in class tomorrow.”
Jason’s brow furrows. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. No one’s pressuring you to do it.”
“I want to.”
No you don’t.
