Page 39 of Feel My Love


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2000 - 2002

Leaving the building where he’d just taken the Massachusetts bar exam in expectation of staying on the East Coast, Leo rocked to a stop. Across the courtyard was a woman with her back to him.

“Amelia?” he whispered.

Practically running, he touched her upper arm and she turned to him with a smile. It wasn’t Amelia.

“Hi,” the woman said. “I’m Delilah.” She held out her hand and Leo took it. He struggled to disconnect Amelia’s face from a stranger who could have been her sister.

“Leo,” he replied hoarsely. “I’m sorry, I…” He swallowed hard. “I thought you were someone else.”

She laughed and it was lovely. “I get that a lot. Did you just take the bar?” He nodded dazedly. “Me, too. A bunch of us are going for coffee and food since we couldn’t keep anything down from nerves. Would you like to join us?”

“I-I probably shouldn’t…”

Tilting her head, she stared into his eyes for a long moment. “The person I look like...did she die?”

“No. No, she’s alive.”

“You have the same look my dad had for years after cancer took my mom.” Reaching out, she took his hand. “Come with us. Have some food. There’s no harm in that.” She shrugged. “I already know I’m the doppelganger of a woman who clearly broke your heart so I promise not to get attached.” Smiling warmly, she asked, “Will you come?”

Nodding, feeling strangely outside his own body, Leo joined Delilah and several of her friends for lunch. A few weeks later, when he received the notice that he’d passed the bar, he also received a text from Amelia’s twin on his new cell phone.

Delilah: Passed the bar! What about you?

Leo: Yes. I passed. Congratulations, Delilah.

Delilah: We’re going out for drinks. To celebrate with everyone who got it done and comfort the ones who didn’t. Join us.

He walked around his apartment in confusion. She texted him again.

Delilah: Come out with us, Leo. You could use it, I think.

Leo: Alright. Give me an hour.

Delilah: Nah. I’ll give you ten minutes to meet me, Leo. Any longer and you’ll talk yourself out of it.

She sent the name of the bar and he stared at it for almost a minute. Then he grabbed his jacket, keys, wallet, and walked out the door.

Delilah was right. He did need it.

Originally from Indianapolis, she was excited to find out Leo was from the Chicago area. “It’s fate that we met. Are you heading back to Illinois?”

“I don’t...I’m not sure. I thought maybe I’d stay here for a few years.”

She stared at him with her head slightly tilted. “Hmm. You don’t seem the type to run. Why don’t you take the Illinois bar just in case? Something tells me you’ll end up there.” Lifting her glass, she added, “A three-hour drive to meet friends isn’t so bad.” He clinked his glass to hers and she grinned. “It’s gonna be okay, Leo. Now, tell me what area of law you plan to practice and I’ll bore you to death with mine.”

There were seven other people out with them but they talked at a table of their own for most of the night. She was relaxed, focused, and ready to take on the world.

After several drinks, she demanded, “Give me a ten-dollar bill.” Laughing, he took one from his wallet. “Now you’re a client. Tell me everything about my twin.” He hesitated and she nudged him with her knee. “I’m an outside party. No dog in the fight as my aunt always says. I bet only the closest people in your life know about her. That must get lonely all the way over here in Massachusetts. Let’s talk it through.”

All of it bubbled up in his chest and he realized he did need to talk about what happened to someone who wasn’t related to any of it.

One word at a time, Leo explained: from the beginning to the bitter end. It was insane to talk to a woman who looked like Amelia about Amelia.

Several times, he had to stop to collect himself and Delilah would order another round of drinks.

“Keep going, Leo. Lancing pain is cathartic.” Until the bar closed, he did. He insisted on paying the tab for her and her friends. “Hey, big spender. You don’t have to do that shit for us. All of us are bare-knuckle fighters from poor families. We set aside money for booze.”

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