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“Incorrect.” He hugged her lightly and whispered at her ear, “I love you. Let’s see Gil off properly and figure out the rest when you have a minute to breathe.”
He moved to pull away and she held him tighter. “Leo?”
“Yes, Amelia?”
“Do you forgive me?”
Leaning back, he stared into her eyes. “Yes. I forgive you.” The air stuttered from between her lips. “Do you forgive me, Amelia?”
She frowned. “There’s nothing…”
“Stop. Do you forgive me for not seeing what you needed when everything happened? Do you forgive me for not coming after you when you left? Do you forgive me for allowing the pain to keep us apart for eight years?”
There was almost a minute of silence and then she answered softly, “I-I forgive you, Leo.”
“We just took our first step into next and away from then.”
Smiling, she told him, “You really are brilliant.”
“Yeah. I know it. A curse, I tell you.”
“Liar.”
* * *
At the funeral home, many people Amelia had never met and some she’d forgotten came to pay their respects to her quiet father. When she stepped up to give her eulogy, she had to stop several times to catch her breath and still her emotions.
Gilbert Whitehall was a good man, a kind one. I never heard him raise his voice. He never reacted in anger, and he was genuinely thrilled with the world and all its mysteries.
He was the sort of man who caught moths, spiders, and mice and took them outside - always worried about hurting them.
Dad liked to write letters. Every birthday, he wrote me a letter explaining what he’d seen in the previous year and what he thought I should look forward to in the year to come. I have every letter he ever wrote to me and when I read them, it’s like he’s talking to me.
She paused to blot the tears that slipped beyond her control with the linen handkerchief Leo gave her.
We had our struggles but it was hard to stay angry at a man like him. I don’t think it was possible for Dad to truly stay angry at all. He loved deeply, felt emotions deeply, and never intentionally harmed another being in his lifetime.
That’s something not many of us can say. Myself included.
She looked up and met Augusta’s eyes in a pew at the back. She was sitting alone and sobbing silently. Amelia’s heart stumbled and she took a moment to calm herself.
In our last conversation, Dad told me to remember that time slips ever more quickly away the less you have of it. He told me to love without fear, to forgive without conditions, and walk boldly into my future because one life is rarely enough.
He passed away the following morning.
There are so many moments we shared that I never truly appreciated until it was abruptly no longer possible to sit beside him on the couch with hot cocoa while we sang all the songs in every Christmas movie loudly and poorly.
There was tearful laughter and she smiled.
My father was the gentlest human being I’ve ever known and he fought his nature out of love for me. I only realized that right now and I wish I could tell him that I’m sorry.
As a very little girl, he read stories to me every night. His own upbringing was more religious than mine and when he tucked me in, he would always whisper a little prayer.
It’s my turn, Dad. I love you. I hope you knew how much. May God bless you and keep you.
She stepped off the stage and Leo stood until she returned to her seat beside him. He took her hand in both of his and the contact gave her strength.
Leo had always given her strength when she needed it most.
