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Her throat was raw. “James?” He stared down at her as he straightened. “I’m sorry you lost Bennett. I-I know he was like a father to you. He loved you so much.”
Bennett’s bodyguard - nowherbodyguard - stumbled, went to one knee, and cried. That he didn’t drop her attested to how good he was at his job. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he returned the hug almost painfully.
“I can’t imagine how the last days have been for you.”
“Hell, Rowan. It was a nightmare keeping it from you, knowing we were going to lose him no matter what, watching the seconds tick away.”
“I’m sorry, so very sorry, James.” She pulled back to look at him and wiped his tears. “Y-you be strong for me, for Mary-Margaret, and I’ll try to be strong for both of you. Bennett called us his Triple Threat…” Her breath caught. “No one can ever beat me, he’d say, not with the Triple Threat in my corner.”
“He was the best man I’ve ever known, Rowan.”
She nodded. “Me, too.”
“We have to make him proud.”
Rowan hated the tears that never stopped. “You always made him proud. Always.”
“So did you,” he said softly. He inhaled deeply. “Do it again, Rowan. Show the world why Bennett worshiped you, why you captivated such a good and powerful man completely from the first day he met you, why he only trusted you with the company he built lovingly for forty years.”
Softly, she replied, “I feel like I’m bleeding out.”
“I know. It’s going to be hard on all of us but no one as much as you. One day, one thing at a time.” She nodded.
James got to his feet and carried her to the elevator.
When the doors closed, she whispered, “It smells like Bennett’s aftershave.” Swallowing hard, she added, “I don’t know why it comforts me - smelling him in the elevator he hated using - but it does.”
“One day, one thing at a time.”
He placed her on her feet at the door of the master suite and seemed to choose his words with care.
“The transmitter is still in this room, the one we used so I could get to Bennett if he n-needed me.” He gripped her shoulder and understanding slammed into her.
“You...heard everything.”
The big man’s eyes closed. “No one on this earth understands what you gave him like I do.” He focused on her. “I’ll protect you for the rest of my life for what you did, Rowan. I will see you through this no matter what it takes.” Reaching around her, he opened the door. “Turn it off if you want but I’m right next door. I’m trusting you to be Bennett’s fearless lioness, Rowan.”
Twisting her hands together tightly, she said, “I won’t h-hurt myself. You have my word.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
She walked into the bedroom and James pulled the door closed behind her. A man’s dress shirt lay at the end of the bed. Picking it up, she realized it was the shirt Bennett had worn the night before.
Holding it to her face, she inhaled deeply of the aftershave and unique scent of the man she loved.
“Bennett.” Swallowing hard, she murmured to the room, “Thank you, James.”
Stripping down, she put on Bennett’s shirt and went into her husband’s closet. Keying the code into the safe, she opened one of the drawers to look at his jewelry. Picking up a thin platinum chain, she put Bennett’s wedding ring on it and put it over her head. It fell between her breasts.
“There,” she whispered, “you’ll always be right beside my heart.”
Climbing under the blankets, she left all the lights on. She held Bennett’s pillow against her as her mind raced. Laying in the bed she’d shared with him, she stared through the large windows that looked out on the dark estate. The pale moon moved across the sky and she struggled to sleep.
As if Bennett whispered into her ear, she heard, “You might be pregnant, Rowan.”
She’d forgotten the possibility.
“Please give me a miracle,” she begged the universe as she placed her palm on her stomach. “Give me his child to love.” Crying softly, she buried her face in his pillow. “I miss you, Bennett. I’m so lost.”
