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It didn’t stop him working, laughing, or loving her.
Setting down the empty cup, she wiped her face. To herself, she whispered, “Howbraveyou were, Bennett. I’m still destroyed that you left me but...I can imagine how tired you were of waiting to die.”
Mary-Margaret appeared at her other side. “People are arriving for the funeral tomorrow, Rowan. I’ve explained that you’re not to be disturbed. The seamstress is here to make any alterations needed to your dress.”
“My...dress?” Her eyes felt like saucers. “Bennett ordered me adressfor his funeral?” Mary-Margaret quirked her brow and Rowan laughed sadly. “Of course he did.”
“Two members of the media whom Bennett requested specifically will be allowed to attend tomorrow. He chose the most stunning ensemble for you.”
“He thought of everything and I…” Rowan’s voice trailed away. “I didn’t think about any of the details.”
Gage told her gently, “Your life was lovin’ Bennett and keepin’ his world turnin’ smooth and happy. From his company to his house to the food he ate. You were focused on his entire universe...all he was focused on was you.”
Nodding, James added, “He took care of the things with us he knew you’d be in no condition to think about. Saying goodbye to him is going to be hard enough without having to choose which shoes to wear.”
Closing her eyes, she tried to settle her emotions. “I don’t want to say goodbye to him.”
“No matter when it happened,” Mary-Margaret told her, “youneverwould have been ready, Rowan.”
“No one ever loved me as much,” she murmured looking at the floor. Exhausted, she pulled herself to her feet and walked from her office. Over her shoulder, she called, “Thank you for the shake, Gage. It’s still my favorite.”
* * *
Nightmares plagued her and when she woke the morning of Bennett’s funeral, Rowan was wrung out. Dragging herself into a sitting position, she scrubbed her hands over her face.
“I miss you, Bennett. I’m terrified and you know I hate being afraid. If-if you could send me some strength today, I’d be so grateful.” She made it to her feet and shuffled to the bathroom to handle the necessities and shower.
At her vanity, she didn’t bother with makeup. Her eyes were red, swollen, and burning from three days of crying. The thought of subjecting them to cosmetics was impossible.
She brushed out her hair and blow-dried it. Loosely coiling it at the base of her neck, she hoped Mary-Margaret could help her with the pillbox hat Bennett ordered to go with the dress.
In her closet, she put on each underwear item her husband had put together for her - stockings, garter, panties, and bra in black silk. She slipped into the delicate black lace dress with a princess neckline and three-quarter sleeves. Then she stepped into a gorgeous pair of heels.
Naturally, everything fit perfectly. Dressing her was something he’d taken great pleasure in from the start.
She tucked the chain holding his wedding ring under her dress and found simple diamond studs to put in her ears. Her wedding ring was her only other jewelry. Picking up the hat and half-veil, she stared at herself in the oversized mirror.
“You’d love the way I look today, Bennett. Classic and feminine - your two favorite fashion choices for me.” She laughed softly and grabbed a handkerchief from her linen drawer to blot her tears. “I h-hope you can see me.”
Leaving her room, Mary-Margaret waited in the hall beside James. “How lovely you look, darling. Bennett never failed to pick just the right outfits for you. Let me help with the hat.” Rowan lowered to the chair outside her door. A minute later, the assistant said gently, “There. Perfect.”
As James escorted her through the house, the staff murmured their condolences to her. She nodded but couldn’t speak as tears flowed and flowed.
The mausoleum on the estate was positioned in the furthest corner of the cleared land directly behind the house. A grand copper pergola shielded the mourners from the direct sun. Her heels sounded too loud on the marble. Men and women stood as her bodyguard led her to the front row of chairs on the left.
The pastor who’d married them gave her a sad smile as Rowan sat between James and Mary-Margaret. Nina, Gage, and Miss Jeffries sat on the assistant’s other side.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Jefferson,” the pastor said.
She managed a silent nod as James pressed another handkerchief into her hand and took the one already soaked with her tears.
For an hour, people got up to take the podium and speak about the passing of a good man. Each of them talked about the incredible joy that infused him when he met Rowan.
Samuel Fields stood with his hands folded. “I knew Bennett Jefferson for more than forty years. We were roommates our freshman year of college. I watched him build on the empire his father started, make mistakes most mortal men tend to make, find the ever-efficient Mary-Margaret, and take young James under his wing.”
Clearing his throat, he looked at Rowan. “I knew Ben when he wasstrong. When he climbed mountains and skydived on a dare. It was rare not to see him on the back of a horse when he was home.”
One of the wealthiest men in the world blinked against tears. “A few years ago, he was on a ski trip with us. Showing our daughter Ellie how to take the hill. He collapsed, out of breath, and we had him airlifted to the closest hospital. He laughed it off but the doctor stole his laughter when the lab results came back.”
