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Gage felt so good, so right, and shehatedherself for still wanting him. She hated how much she loved the feel of him against her.
Releasing a sigh with a soft moan, she knew he misunderstood. He thought, mistakenly, that she was giving in: as so many girls had probably given in to him over the years.
In reality, Rowan was letting him go.
Letting her heart break in small, jagged pieces...because she could never,everkeep him.
Not even for a little while.
Not after knowing he’d been with her best friend.
Shifting her weight, she drove her thigh into his groin: not hard enough to permanently injure him but hard enough to double him over.
Hoarse with the agony of heartbreak, struggling to hold back unfamiliar tears that wanted so badly to fall, Rowan said, “I told you not to touch me, Gage.” Watching him gasp for air, she stepped away and wrapped her arms around her upper body. “I may not be much. Icomefrom nothing andhavenothing but my word to my name.”
Dropping her arms and straightening, she looked into his beautiful hazel eyes. They still watered from the blow she’d delivered.
“I’m going to give you my word now, Gage. Only, unlike the word you gave me, I actually mean it.” Leaning closer, she whispered, “I willneverlet myself love another man. I willneverweaken my heart again. I willneverallow another man close enough to hurt me as you have.”
“Rowan,please...don’t do this.”
“I’m not stupid. It’s not like I expected you to be fucking Prince Charming. I’m no princess in a fairy tale…but I deservedbetter than this. I thought you were a better man and I was so wrong about you, about so many things. We’re through before we ever had a chance to get started. Have a good life, Gage. I hope to hell you grow up.”
She turned and ran hard for the road toward the orphanage. When it came into sight, she slowed to an easy jog.
Miss Jeffries stood on the front porch with her hand shielding her eyes from the first rays of sun on the horizon. “Hey there, Miss Rowan. You always run so pretty.” The older woman tilted her head. “Everything alright?”
Words came in gasps from running and trying not to cry. “I-I’m alright, ma’am.”
“Have you seen Nina, by any chance?”
“No ma’am. I’ll run out to look for her if you need me to. I was going to shower and get ready for the bus.”
The warmth of the woman’s genuine smile seeped through some of the hurt and the cold. Miss Jeffries was deceptively soft and sweet. The way she was hid a core of steel.
“That’s okay. Y’all are eighteen and startin’ your new lives today. She’ll be alright. If I don’t see her by breakfast, I’ll look around myself.” Rowan walked up the porch steps, a painful lump in her throat. “Are you excited, Rowan?”
“I’ve never been so excited to justget on with itas I am right now, Miss Jeffries.” As she said the words, she knew they were true. She hugged Miss Jeffries tight. “I’ll sure miss you and your fresh biscuits though, ma’am. I really will.”
Dropping a quick kiss on Miss Jeffries’ wrinkled cheek, Rowan darted into the house before she started sobbing out her troubles to the one person always willing to hear them - without deception or an ulterior motive.
Heading to her room, she gathered her belongings and packed them in the large duffel bag provided to them – funnily enough – by the Chambers family.
Mrs. Chambers had delivered the bags packed with essentials, bus tickets, and an envelope of cash to Nina and Rowan to help them get started on the next leg of their futures.
“Of all the girls who’ve come through this house over the years, I’ve gotten quite attached to the two of you,” Gage’s mother had told them. “I’m going to miss you both. If you ever need anything, you know the number to the house. You call and I’ll help. I mean it.”
In unison, they’d answered, “Thank you, ma’am.”
The woman was delicate, elegant, and one of the kindest people who ever walked the Earth. Rowan would miss her.
Now, she worked quickly and methodically, folding each item neatly and packing it carefully. She had few belongings to her name. Once she showered in the bathroom down the hall and dressed in jeans and a Texas Rangers t-shirt, she put her dirty clothes in a plastic bag.
She went over her half of the room she’d shared with Nina for years. Sitting at her small desk, she wrote the girl who’d been her best friend for years a letter and left it on her pillow. It made her cry because she loved Nina like a sister and didn’t want to leave things bad between them.
The next two oldest girls would get this room as soon as she and Nina were gone. Over the years, Rowan had laughed a lot in this room. She hoped there would be much more laughter in this place in the years to come.
Picking up the duffel bag, she went downstairs. Miss Jeffries handed her a plate with breakfast on it and Rowan sat at the little kitchen table to eat. They talked about the other girls and Rowan felt the loving chatter smooth over her frayed nerves.
