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He didn’t talk. He didn’t grope her. He simply held her while she cried tears that felt as if they’dneverstop.
Sore from her fall, exhausted, and hurting inside and out over a child she hadn’t known existed until she lost it - but grieved nonetheless - Nina cried herself to sleep.
Early morning light filled the small space when she opened her eyes and James breathed deeply against her hair.
Rolling over to face him, he blinked sleepily. One side of his mouth lifted in a smile. “The most beautiful sight I’ve ever woken to. Thank you.”
“James…”
“Nina, I want you to wrap up your life here. Live in one of the cottages on the estate and get your feet under you. Breathe, heal, and take what you need when you need it from me. Will you consider that?”
“No.”
“I hoped, but knew you wouldn’t.” He smoothed her hair away from her face. “Things are going to change a lot, Nina. The next six months will be packed but I’d like you to clear your schedule toward the end of the year. Not for me.”
She frowned. “Bennett…?”
“Is worsening. I’m going to need you close to help Rowan.”
“You can’t tell me more?” He shook his head. “Alright. After the summer schedule, I won’t take any other projects. The current play will be done, I-I have a couple of commercials, a photoshoot in Canada, all things I can move or cancel if needed.”
“Thank you.”
Maintaining eye contact, she whispered, “I can’t fuck you, James. I mean that literally. I hurt in-inside. I had to have a procedure to-to…”
“Ssh. It’s okay. I understand.” He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, then her lips with a delicate touch. “While fucking you is hands-down my favorite thing to do on the entire planet, I happen to find everything about you interesting. Tell me what you’ve been up to since I saw you last.”
They laid on her sofa bed, the rising sun making their similar features glow, and talked. She’d never done such a thing with a male but...it was nice.
When she needed to use the restroom, she came back to find he’d made coffee and gotten dressed.
“Running downstairs. I’ll be back in five.”
He returned with orange juice, pastry, fruit, and the sausage rolls Mrs. Cortena made fresh every morning.
“First things first, you need to eat, Nina.”
He made her a plate and she did.
After he cleaned up, he shrugged into his jacket and hugged her tightly. “I need to get back to Bennett. Mary-Margaret and I are the only ones who know how serious things have gotten. He’s keeping everyone in the dark.” Leaning back, he cupped her face. “I’m sorry about the baby, Nina. I would have loved to have a child with you but it wasn’t anythingyoudid. You’d make a wonderful mother...maybe we can talk about that sometime.”
James made gentle love to her mouth and left.
Walking to the window, she watched as he exited her building and got into the passenger seat of a waiting car.
She loved him.
It slipped into her mind, shook her to her core, and filled her with instant, debilitating terror…
But she loved him anyway.
Chapter Thirteen
2003 - Age 26
A few months later, the hated play closed and Nina patently refused to go to the wrap party.
Isaiah took her aside and asked, “Are you alright?”
