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“I’m fine…”
“Coming to this town, to Miss Jeffries, must have been a shock to the traumatized, brutalized girl you were. I can imagine you waiting months - even years - for someone to hurt you if you let down your guard.” James walked to a big chair in the corner and held her across his lap. “When did you first trust Miss Jeffries?”
A shiver moved up her spine and she thought back to a hot summer day on the secluded property. To a moment she’d packed away - another blank space like so many others.
“When I was thirteen, a heavy equipment salesman visiting the Chambers’ place saw me on the road coming back from taking Mrs. Chambers some fresh honey from the hives Rowan was keeping for her science fair project.”
Blinking rapidly, she said, “He cornered me in our shed. I-I fought but I didn’t scream. Miss Jeffries was-was suddenly in the doorway with a rifle. She told the man that the Lord always guided her heart but it was the Devil who taught her to shoot. The man took off running and she sighted him in, pulled the trigger, and put a bullet in his thigh. She refused to let me testify because she said everyone knew she could have blown his head off if she was trying to kill him.”
“I really like that woman.”
Nodding, she stared at her hands. “Me, too.”
“You loved Rowan from the start.”
Nina sighed. “I wanted to keep her safe to pay penance at first. That changed as she became the woman she is now. I loved her but it-it was warped and greedy.”
James stared into her eyes for a long moment. “Why did you need to pay penance?”
It took her a moment to realize what she’d said. Full panic filled her. “Please, James…”
“Nina. Breathe and focus for me. I know what life you lived before you came here.” He smoothed his hand over her hair. “You met Rowanthen...didn’t you?”
“Four minutes.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “That was how long it took to expose her to monsters who stole every minute of the ten years she’d lived.”
Shaking, crying, she confessed the darkest secret she’d kept for almost seventeen years to a man she knew could help her carry the burden.
“Nina.” He held her close.
“The closer graduation got, the more fucked up I was. Sh-she was too innocent for me to seduce but Gage...he’d been laying the groundwork for almost a year. I thought the two of us together could keep her safe. His money, my instincts. I visited her campus a few times to make sure she was alright. Wh-when she met Bennett, dropped off the radar, I thought…”
James’ arms tightened around her. “You thought her past caught up. The mysterious father who wanted to sell her.” Inhaling deeply, he leaned back to look at her. “I’ll run some data and see if I can’t find a name...”
“Please, James!”
“This won’t go beyond us. Not until I have facts. Then we’ll figure out what to do together. I swear it.” He shook his head. “How heavy that secret must have been all these years. You were achild, Nina. Smarter and more world aware than others but still achild.”
He carried her to a wall of bunk beds and laid her down, stretching out beside her. Covering them, he held her tightly to his chest.
“The isolation you subject yourself to is eating you alive, sweetheart. I don’t know exactly what you’re afraid of with me, but I’m done waiting for you to dip your toe in the water. I’m shoving you in and we’ll sink or swim together.”
“I don’t want…”
“No more lies, Nina. No more.” He kissed the top of her head and added softly, “Lay here and take a nap with me. Let me hold you.”
She didn’t think she’d sleep.
She was wrong.
It was impossible to tell how much time had passed when she blinked in confusion.
James maintained eye contact as he slowly undressed them. Settling between her legs, he twined their fingers together.
“Something different, Nina. Experience it with me.”
Then James made love to her. He didn’t look away as he thrust slow and deep into her body. By the fifth stroke, the tears in her eyes overflowed into her hair.
“James…”
