Page 54 of Sinfully Loved

What did she expect from me?

"I didn't intend to," I finally said meekly, hoping to reassure her a little.

I couldn't tell her that Rina had appeared to me and had practically given me permission not only to screw Dea's brains out but also do everything else that a marriage entailed.

I wrinkled my nose. I was not even close to being convinced to get involved.

"I'm sure you didn't intend to whisper your dead wife's name in my ear either, and yet that's exactly what happened." Her snarky comment was unexpected, making me wince.

I had no memory of that. I knew how hard I had tried to imagine Rina instead of Dea, but I was also well aware that I had failed miserably. Dea was different. No comparison to Rina.

"I… please… what?!" Confused, I took a step in her direction.

"You heard me right, Enzo. I don't know if the wine has gone to your head and you've hallucinated or if it's some perverted way of soothing your guilty conscience, but…" She snorted. "I'm not up for that. I will not get into a contest with a dead woman. I'm not going to play substitute for her. And I'm certainly will not try to outdo her. I know you loved her very much and had no choice but to marry me, but that doesn't mean you can play that kind of game with me. That's cruel. And unfair."

Surprised, I raised an eyebrow. She had approached me yesterday – not the other way around. How did she now conclude that I was playing with her? When the truth was so far, far away from that!

"Whatever you think you know… forget it," I hissed, bridging the distance and rearing up in front of her. "You're wrong."

"Is that so? Then give me a plausible reason why you left me all alone after we had sex."

"I was angry at myself," I said. "I didn't know where to direct that anger. I didn't want to raise false hopes. I was aware of what a mistake it was."

All of it was true and yet so far removed from the other reasons that had also played a role.

"We're adults, Enzo. This is ridiculous."

"What do you want to hear, Dea?"

"The truth, damn it. You had fun last night. You enjoyed it. You can't deny that."

I actually couldn't, even though I would like to. "Fine," I grumbled. It didn't take much to mentally transport me back to this morning.

"I woke up, and the muscles in my shoulders didn't feel tight for the first time in years. I woke up feeling reasonably comfortable and content in my body. I woke up with my head on your chest and your arm around me, and it felt good. I could smell you, feel your warmth and remember the previous night. The one I enjoyed. But none of it was supposed to be like this. Neither was it supposed to please me nor have that kind of effect on me. That's why I sought the distance. Because I can't do this here."

Waiting, I stared at her while she eyed me with the same intensity. A few seconds passed before she nodded and took a step back. Not only physically. Emotionally. Mentally. On all the levels we had tapped into last night.

"Well, at least my father will buy this shitty farce now." The words hit me like well-aimed punches.

I hardly deserved anything else.

Dea's gaze fell on my hands clenched into fists. "Should have Fiero fix that up once he gets here, by the way. Looks pretty ugly to me."

With that, she turned away and disappeared up the stairs to the other side of the house. Her shoulders didn't slump, although I was sure I could tell how she was feeling.

I raised my hands and looked at my knuckles. Scraps of skin stood out, and crusted blood had run down my fingers. All in all, they were a mess, and I was glad I could blame it on the destruction of my office instead of revealing what I had really maltreated them with.

14

Amedea

Since I had shown up at Vincenzo's office and he had been so honest with me after leaving me alone in the cabin, we had not exchanged another word. I honestly didn't want to see him at all.

Perhaps I had interpreted more into the evening and night in the vineyards than he had ever intended, and that hit me especially hard. His excuse for this had been strange, his excuse was anything but believable.

Unfortunately, I could no longer avoid him because, in a few hours, the party at Fiero's was starting. An icy knot had formed in my stomach because so much hung on this evening, and I could not estimate in which mood Vincenzo would be. Would he play along? Or would he quit after what had happened in the past few days?

I had no idea what I could and could not expect from him. I only knew that I was downright afraid of my father and for what consequences he drew from the evening.

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