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"For now, we should limit ourselves to keeping an eye on him. We can't miss if he's planning something. For the safety of all of us."
"And also Carlotta doesn't get pissed off again because she had to sort things out," Dario muttered.
The incident with Gia was still fresh in his mind.
"If you don't mind, I'll go back to the others," Natale finally said because nothing exciting was sure to happen in our short meeting. Fiero joined him, and Dario also finally went back outside.
Emilio and I were left alone. For a while, we looked at each other in silence. I was well aware that there were some unsaid things between us. Even though I preferred to leave them unsaid, I knew it was wrong.
Fortunately, Emilio made a start and thus saved me from searching for the appropriate words. "This isn't a charade you're pulling on, is it?"
I denied it with a curt movement of my head. Dea had originally wanted exactly that from me. A short theatrical game in which I turned the old Vince inside out and saved her ass in the process. "Ironically, she somehow managed to remind me of the old me. It was easy to withdraw and live out my days with anger and sadness."
"And now it's not?"
I snorted. "Oh, yes. But it doesn't satisfy me like it did before."
Emilio raised an eyebrow. I could imagine what was going on in his head and how he felt about this unexpected development. Surely just as irritated as I was.
"So you're telling me you woke up this morning and decided you wanted this new life now?"
I nodded, although that wasn't actually true. Not entirely, at least. The decision had been long overdue. Amedea had only given me the reason to make it.
I hardly needed to mention that she had appeared with a sledgehammer to break through the thick walls. It had taken a sledgehammer, nasty teasing, and courage and brashness to finally break me out of my stubbornness.
And Rina. Rina had been the key to all this because knowing nothing would offend her even in death calmed my mind, heart, and soul in equal measure.
"When she died, I was also on the verge of leaving. Only the desire for revenge kept me alive. I wanted her family dead. Every fucking soul that had anything to do with it. At some point, no member of the Scuderi family existed. I could have ended it, but I was sure you guys couldn't get along without a big brother. I found reasons to hold on to the anger and grief. Death would have ended the pain, but that was a mercy I couldn't grant myself."
Emilio stared at me. I didn't remember ever talking so openly with him about this subject, about Rina.
"Maybe she's just the start of a new life. Maybe she's just what I need to relearn some basic things right now. But I guess that's okay."
"Whatever you need to finally come back to us," Emilio replied with a firm look. "It doesn't change the fact that Amedea deserves nothing but the best. Do me a favor and at least try not to hurt her."
I almost rolled my eyes. Nothing was further from my mind, apart from the occasional rather heated arguments we had.
"I can assure you that I have no such plans. However, I'm not planning on filing for divorce either. So… I don't know. Do what you want with the information. You’ve been informed. I guess that's all I need to say."
Before the whole conversation turned sentimental, I sought distance and returned outside to the party. Before going down the stairs to the terrace, I lingered for a few minutes at the top, leaning against the railing and watching Amedea. She sat next to Carlotta by the pool, her feet dangling in the water, and they were having a lively conversation.
It seemed like she was having fun. I didn't want to ruin that moment, even if it meant my brain returned to Rina. I didn't remember how many parties and other events she had thrown. During those hours, she had been everywhere and nowhere, striking up conversations with everyone present and radiating that incredible warm energy that made you feel instantly welcome. Everyone had enjoyed Rina's presence. Enjoyed talking with her. During those hours, I had never minded sharing her with others because at the end of the day all her attention was on me when she told me in great detail about the news she had heard.
Amedea also attracted attention, but for entirely different reasons. And that was fine. That was good. More than that, it made me realize how special she was.
Fiero snapped me out of my rather long train of thought by leaning next to me on the railing. "I don't have to tell you that you made the right decision."
"You were very clear in your choice of words," I replied. I wanted to beat myself up for sharing all the details of Amedea's and my complicated relationship with him. But, in the end, he had shaken me at the right moment and made me admit things instead of denying them to myself and everyone else.
"I took the liberty of having a brief conversation with her on the drive. Just in case you were wondering why she didn't give you hell in light of the sudden change of heart."
I laughed. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that part is still coming."
Fiero glanced toward the pool. "Then I certainly don't want to be in your shoes."
"Have you ever thought about a career as a psychologist?"
"I don't have the right conversational skills for that. Besides, I would need one myself, so that's rather difficult. I guess I'll just leave it at giving you therapy." Fiero gave me a meaningful look.
