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I let out a warning growl. "Dario? Are you out of your mind, woman?Dario. Do you think I'm not capable of getting you safely to a doctor?"
"You've made it very clear you want nothing to do with me," she hissed.
I would have loved to set her down so I could grab her by the arms and shake her hard, but that would not have helped her injuries or the anger I felt toward myself.
"It's not like you care," she added, which was the final straw.
I set her down in front of the Jeep, leaned her against it, and took a step back to keep my fist from hammering into the metal.
"I don’t care?" I started at her. "It's scaring the living shit out of me! Ever since Emilio's damn phone call, I've been blaming myself. I made a similar mistake before, and we all know how that ended! So don't accuse me of not caring. Do you know what I wanted to do to your father? I wanted to tear him apart. I wanted to watch him suffer and go to bed tonight, knowing that he wouldn't get up in the morning to hurt you or anyone else. What about you? To see you like that, covered in blood, shaking, maybe with serious injuries… to see the fucking car is a total loss, yet you somehow managed to get out of it alive.Dios mio, Amedea, every time I lie and tell myself that this between us is something other than what it actually is, something happens that makes me realize how stupid I am. Look at you! You can't say I've done anything good for you in the time we've been married. I take everything you offer me, and I'm incapable of giving even the slightest bit back. Jesus, you stand in front of me and tell me that's all you want. Shit. How am I not supposed to be the death of you? How am I not the one who kills his wife a second time?"
To lay all this out for her, where I had kept it to myself all this time, was liberating. Liberating and frightening simultaneously because Amedea stared at me as if I had taken leave of my senses.
"I need you in my life, but you're going to pay a ridiculously high price for it," I added.
Would she stick to her path after I had destroyed everything again? Would she give me another chance? Or had she finally realized that I was not the man she wanted at her side?
Amedea held her side but continued to look at me with a steady gaze. "I can give ninety on the days when you only have ten percent," she replied with a soft smile before rolling her eyes and slumping forward in my direction.
I caught her.
"DOCTOR, YOU IDIOT!" Dario shouted and looked at me, aghast.
I started to move.
* * *
"You are aware that Flavia and I heard every second of your little lecture, yes?" Emilio asked, leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed.
I had rushed Amedea to our family doctor and then to the villa, fearing I would encounter unpleasant surprises at Tramonti that I could not handle on my own.
"You could have hung up," I replied darkly.
"I could have. But then I would have missed this insanely exciting glimpse into your mind and couldn't get on your nerves with it now."
I looked around and wondered if it was an option to just walk away. But if I left, it also meant I would move away from where Amedea was sleeping, and that was not an option.
So, Emilio had me pinned down.
"You know no one will hold it against you if you start over? With her."
I also crossed my arms and leaned against the wall but said nothing.
"There's nothing wrong with starting over at some point and falling in love with someone again."
"I know."
"Then why is it so hard for you to admit it? That you not only like her but there's more to it."
I snorted. "Because it means letting go of something I don't want to let go of."
"No one will ever replace Rina. No matter in what respect. But she doesn't have to. Or did she try stain your wife's memory? They can coexist, you know? She can… she'll understand and respect that you'll never love her as much as you love Rina. That's fine, really. You just have to let it happen."
Before I allowed anything to happen, I wanted her to wake up. That the doctor was right, and she had only suffered whiplash, and the exertion, after the adrenaline had worn off, had knocked her out completely.
"I have no idea where you learned emotional intelligence, but I wish you had possessed it sooner," I muttered. Not because of me. But because of Dario. Because of Flavia. Because of all the times, he had proven he lacked empathy for other people when he was not directly involved and even then, he had too often found it challenging to see more than the superficial.
"You never stop learning, do you?"
