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Mr Giles sighed. “So that you can compartmentalise your life into tidy little boxes? Why do you think that if you marry a woman you love that it would affect your work?”
“It would be disruptive,” he said slowly. “It would mean that I cannot work to full capacity. I need to focus and have my eye on the ball atalltimes, Mr Giles. Or else it could all fail.”
“There is more to life than work, Mr Hartfield,” said Mr Giles. “You are not one of your machines. You are a person who is entitled to have a life outside of it.” He hesitated. “If I may speak frankly, it sounds like an excuse to me.”
“An excuse?”
“You are afraid,” said Mr Giles. “You are afraid to fall in love because you are a man who likes to be in control at all times. And you cannot control what might happen when you fall in love. You risk heartache, pain, and betrayal. I think the thought of that scares you. It is far easier to simply avoid it.”
Ambrose felt his jaw tighten. He didn’t like to hear that he might be afraid. He rushed at life like a bull at a gate, taking risks and aiming for the sky. It was one of the main reasons he was so successful.
Was it true? Did he dismiss the idea of romantic love because he was afraid of it?
“I think you owe it to yourself to take a risk with Miss Parker,” continued Mr Giles, nodding sagely. “She is a fine woman. A beautiful woman. Any man would be proud to be with her.”
Ambrose frowned. “Even if she persists in saying she is someone who she isn’t?”
Mr Giles sighed, getting up from the bed. “She is a puzzle. But if it is true that she is not who she claims to be, there may be a good reason for it. It doesn’t change that she is still the woman you are smitten with. Perhaps you owe it to yourself to find out. To take that risk.”
Ambrose’s frown deepened. “Perhaps.”
But he wasn’t convinced. The aversion to the thought of letting himself fall in love was so deeply entrenched. And he had no idea how to shift it. Was it a matter of conscious will?
Perhaps I am just not the type to fall in love, he thought.It either happens, or it does not. I cannot force it, regardless of what Mr Giles says.
He sighed heavily. How did someone even know if they were in love? Did it come upon a person like a lightning bolt from the sky? It was bewildering.
“I am going to head down to the bar,” said Mr Giles. “It will be time for dinner soon.”
Ambrose stared at him. “Do not overdo the liquor, my friend. There is no comfort to be found in the bottom of a bottle.”
Mr Giles sighed, running a hand over his face. “I know,” he said slowly. “As soon as this trip is over, I will be done with it. I will take myself in hand.” He hesitated. “I am avoiding starting life again, you see. For when I do, I must admit that they are really gone.”
“I understand,” said Ambrose, his heart twisting in sympathy for the man. “But you deserve a good life too, Mr Giles. A life that your late wife and daughter might look down upon with pride. I am sure they wouldn’t want you to become a wreck because of them.”
Mr Giles looked surprised. “You know, I have never thought of it like that.” He straightened his shoulders. “I will do it for them when I reach Bradford.”
Ambrose smiled. “You really should come to see me at my factory.”
The man beamed at him before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Ambrose stood up, going to the window. He could barely see anything. The wind was still howling around the inn.
He thought of the puzzle of Delia again.Should he ask her plainly if she was on the run? But how would she react if he did?
He sighed. She would be defensive. She would either be offended that he had suggested it, if it wasn’t true, or angry with him if it was true. Either way, it would put distance between them—distance he should be encouraging but simply couldn’t.
The enigma of Miss Delia Parker would have to stay unsolved—at least for now.
Chapter 25
Delia made her way slowly down the stairs to the main room of the inn. She saw the fire roaring in the huge fireplace against one wall. The place was filling up quickly.
She walked into the room, gazing at the men standing at the bar, drinking ales. Where had they all come from? It was a mystery to her as to why anyone would brave the weather to come to an inn during a snowstorm.
But perhaps most of them were stranded travellers like they were, unable to get through the snow blocking the road. She spotted Mr Giles among them, feeling a stab of pity for the man. She knew now why he imbibed so much, and she didn’t judge him for it. She only hoped it was a temporary comfort and he would be able to put back the pieces of his shattered life. He was such a nice man, and it would be a shame if he didn’t.
She kept walking. The fire was roaring in the huge fireplace, giving off a fierce heat which filled the room. Once again, she was struck by how cosy it was. The Black Swan was a very nice establishment,she thought in surprise. She was getting used to places like this and actually beginning to like the laughing crowd of people and the ambience.
