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Think, Cara, think! How the fuck do I fix this?
I dart up the stairs, ignoring how the movement sparks up the ache between my legs where his cock battered into me. If I ignore that, I can ignore how hard Icamefrom such treatment. That’s a problem for later. I skid into the bedroom and dive for my phone, hurriedly scrolling through the contacts for Killian with my left hand while my right tries to clear away the waterfall from my eyes so I can see clearly. Number located, I press the dial button.
The beeping of the call fills the emptiness of the room, and I struggle to hold back my tears, waiting.He’ll answer, right?Please, please answer.
Voicemail.
I hang up and dial again. Repeatedly.
“Shut up!” The sound of the voicemail automation for the umpteenth time causes a surge of hot energy up through my body, and I launch the phone down onto the bed.
“Fuck!” My voice bounces off the wall. The bedroom suddenly appears cavernous. Now I’m alone with no clue if Killian will ever return.
Fucking fuck!Come on, Cara, think. I need a plan.
After what feels like an eternity, I head back downstairs to the kitchen and sit on the tall barstool, rocking myself slightly as I stare at the screen of my phone. It fogs slightly around my fingertips, my skin still tingling from the shower I dragged myself through to wash away the evidence of Killianusingme against the door. Really it was to remove the shameful evidence of my own orgasm, but I chose to ignore that thought. The tears have stopped through tiredness and I clutch a wine glass to my chest. The alcohol numbs the cracks appearing in my soul as I dial Killian’s number again.
It’s been over an hour.Where the fuck is he?
No one has called. Not my father, not Dante. No one has shown up to kick me to the curb, either.
Voicemail again.
Fuck you, Killian!Why won’t he just fucking talk to me?
I gulp down some wine, closing my eyes briefly as it burns warm down my throat. Then I tap through my contacts and select a different number. The call answers immediately, and I lift the phone to my ear.
“Cara!”
Sadie’s voice fills me with warmth, and tears sting sharply behind my eyelids once more.I don’t deserve her.
“How are you?! Has Killian told you where you’re going on your honeymoon yet? It better be somewhere fabulous!”
“Sadie,” I force her name out of my tight throat, raw from wailing in the shower, and her tirade stops immediately.
“Cara? Honey, what’s wrong?!”
“I fucked up,” I admit, “I fucked up so bad.”
Other voices drift through the background of the call, and Sadie hushes whoever is around her.
“Talk to me, Cara. What happened? Do you need me to come and fuck him up?”
“No,” I scoff weakly, though the image of Sadie trying to take Killian fills my mind with an amusing note.Do I tell her the truth? Do I tell hereverything? I press my lips together as the options skitter around my mind. It would be freeing to tell her, but surely it would put her in danger. I can’t do that.
“Cara?” Sadie prompts and her voice is softer now, closer to the phone so her breath tickles through the call.
“I can’t… go into detail,” I admit, “but… I lied to Killian. About something important, something that involves his family and a-a huge decision.” My voice trembles and tears swim unshed. “I lied because I thought it was the right thing to do and he would never find out, but… he found out. This morning. And—…” My throat closes, and I curl my fingers tighter around the phone. “And he left, and now he won’t take my calls. Sadie, I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh, Cara…” Sadie breathes out.
“He hates me. He kept talking about how much he trusted me and how huge that was for him after the stuff he’s been through, and Istillkept my mouth shut because I thought he would never find out.” It spills out of me now, wild and uncontrollable. “I’ve made a fool out of him, and I just wanted to keep my father safe!”
“Your father?” Sadie’s question is lost to me in my distress.
“I couldn’t have known what he would have done if he knew the truth. There’s no way! I’m not psychic. So I thought keeping it quiet, letting everything carry on, was the best I could do for everyone, but he knows now, and I….” Guilt settles like a weight, crushing my lungs with each breath. “I think I really hurt him.” I gulp down another mouthful, draining my glass as Sadie speaks.
“Well…” Sadie begins and there’s uncertainty in her voice. “If you did what youtrulythought was right, then stick to your guns, girl! Lying to protect people isn’t… great, but it’s definitely one of the more noble reasons. You take that and you use that when you explain to him why you lied. You have to understand and acknowledge how you hurt him and why, but if your reason for doing so is important, then explain your side, y’know? If you lied for a good reason, then it sucks that it hurt him, but he has to understandwhyas much as you have to understand why it’s so painful for him.”
