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“Here’s the man of the hour,” Carlotta says as she scoops the adorable visitor from the great beyond into her arms. “Lot, Cha Cha, I’d like for you to meet my new main squeeze, Teeny Weenie.”
“Aww,” both Charlie and I coo in unison.
“Aren’t you just the cat’s meow,” I tease as I give him a quick scratch between the ears. I’m not sure why the dead feel as real as they do, but they can feel every bit as solid as the living if they want. “What’s your name?”
He gives a tiny yet sharp bark. “Teeny Weenie,” he says with his little pink mouth hanging open as he turns to Carlotta. “You were right, they really don’t listen, do they?”
Carlotta nods. “Lot Lot is a walking walnut, and Cha Cha is a hot metal poker. They can’t see, hear, or feel.”
A walking walnut?
“Teeny Weenie?” I laugh as I say it. “Well, that’s just perfect. I can see why they call you that.”
Carlotta yanks him close to her chest while shooting me a dirty look. “It’s bad enough he has to bear the fact his tiny man-parts are made fun of each time someone says his name, must you point out the obvious, too?” She plants a kiss on his sweet nose. “There, there, kiddo, don’t feel too bad. Lot has a husband with a teeny weenie himself. Of course, she kicked him to the curb once she saw what that teeny weenie could do.”
“What became of him?” the tiny cutie chirps.
“He gave me a beautiful baby,” I say, gently extracting him from Carlotta’s arms. “And pay no mind to Carlotta. She has no idea what she’s talking about.” I glance up at Charlie. “Noah has anything but a teeny weenie. And for the record, neither does Everett.”
And knowing Carlotta, I doubt this conversation is over by a long shot.
The sweet supernatural babe in my arms belts out another quick bark. “You’re right again, Carlotta. It really does sound as if she’s garnered carnal knowledge regarding half the men in the state of Vermont.”
“That would be Carlotta,” I correct. “Weenie, what’s your connection to Bella Hall? Was she your mama at some point?”
“That she was,” he says with a sigh. “Bella had me a few years back when she was a top defense attorney out in Burlington. They used to call her The Shark with a Bark. She was the shark and I was the bark. Bella took me everywhere.”
“It sounds like she was a very good owner,” I point out. “Weenie, do you know if Bella had any enemies? I mean, you knew her just a few years ago. Certainly, you could offer more than a few good tips on who may have killed her.”
“Goodness, yes.” His tiny head twitches. “Bella used to say she had enough enemies to last a lifetime. Of course, she had good friends, too. I believe there was a group called the Bare Exam that she was particularly fond of.”
“You mean the Bar Exam?”
“No, no, I’m quite sure it was Bare.” He sniffs as he turns to Carlotta. “She really doesn’t care to listen, does she?”
Carlotta shakes her head. “Walnut is as walnut does. Lot Lot only hears what she wants to hear.”
“Regardless,” Charlie says. “This place really is bad luck. I can’t believe we had a dead body on the premises. What’s next? An FBI sting operation?”
“Not on my watch.”
I hope.
Carlotta chuffs before her attention is snagged by a crowd of businessmen who walk through the door and make a beeline for the darkened hall next to the bar.
“Lottie?” Charlie steps in close, her eyes never leaving that group of men. “What’s the deal with people walking in and using our restroom as if it were a conference center?”
“Yeah, Lot?” Carlotta squints in that direction. “Are you sure there’s not a secret room in the back in charge of some dirty dealings?” Carlotta teases, and yet she has no idea how close to home she just got.
“You wish,” I tell her just as another crowd bustles in, and this time they ask to be seated. “Carlotta, why don’t you take care of your customers? Charlie, you go make the world’s best Italian food. I’ll take care of everything else.”
The tiny wonder leaps from my arms to Carlotta’s. “I’ll help with the crowd. I’m pretty good at sniffing out trouble.” He gives a few sniffs in the direction of the bar. “In fact, I sense big trouble now.”
“Then you’d better come with me,” I say, snatching him back and racing off toward the darkened corridor which leads straight to big trouble. “You’re right about trouble, Weenie,” I whisper to the adorable spook. “But we need to keep this amongst ourselves.”
“I’m afraid no can do. Carlotta made me swear on my afterlife that the two of us wouldn’t keep any secrets from one another. And she’s already doled out quite a few juicy ones.”
“There’s a Boston cream pie in it for you if you keep mum on what I’m about to show you,” I say as we enter that dark hall.
