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“Yes, Marlena would know for sure.” Crane nods. “They spent most of the last few months together working on that series they were hoping to get out. Marlena used to bartend out at a Thai place called One Night in Bangkok. Bella used to frequent the place and the two of them started talking shop. Or rather, Bella talked shop to her bartender and, in turn, her bartender shared her literary aspirations. That’s how Marlena was invited into the fold. Turns out, Marlena had some really great ideas. Bella thought they were marketable. Bella loved Marlena’s ideas. Marlena was just hoping to garner some tips, but Bella outsmarted her and convinced her that they should pen the books together. As much as Marlena didn’t care at first, she agreed.”
Carlotta slaps her hands together. “I know who the killer is, Lot. It’s that Marlena chick. Bella must have threatened to steal her material, and the next thing you know—bing, boom, bang—she was dead.”
As much as I’d like to roll my eyes at Carlotta’s enthusiastic depiction of what may have transpired, stranger things have happened.
“I’ll speak with her,” I say. But before I can ask Crane where I might find the woman, she takes off and picks up a sparkling pink ball and bowls a strike.
The team gives a cheer, and Carlotta is up next.
Keelie nudges me while Carlotta’s boobs select a ball. “What’s your mother doing in the next lane over?”
I look that way, and to my horror, my mother is launching bowling balls between her legs, backward, and each time she bends low, two of her most prominent features swing in the wind.
But my mother doesn’t vacate her post after she pitches the ball. Instead, one of the far too enamored gentlemen on the team delivers another ball to her and she does it again and again.
“Good grief.” I’m about to speed over when Carlotta picks up a ball, races to the front of the lane, hoists it over her head, and drops it square on her noggin.
Carlotta does a face-plant onto the floor and doesn’t move a muscle.
It looks as if our time at the Bare Exam has come to an abrupt end.
Here’s hoping Carlotta hasn’t come to an abrupt end, too.
NOAH
“Carlotta.” Lottie shakes the woman who bore her as we gather around her hospital bed, right here in the emergency room. “Wake up.” She raises her voice a notch as she shakes her by the shoulders. “What did you have to go and drop a bowling ball on your head for?”
“Now that’s the million-dollar question,” Miranda sniffs.
Lottie turns her way, not an ounce of amusement on her face. “I’ve got a million-dollar question for you, too,” she snips. “Why did you have to launch bowling balls from between your legs, over and over again for all to see? Stealing turns while those naughty men stole naughty glances at you.”
Miranda gasps, twirling her fingers around the buttons of her blouse. “They said I was ready to go pro. They said they appreciated my form.”
“They didn’t care one iota about the way you were dropping those balls,” Lottie informs her. “They were far more interested in watching the bowling balls that are attached to your body fall to the floor.”
“What?” I straighten, trying to piece together what exactly happened tonight.
Both Everett and I got a text about a half hour ago to meet them at the ER right here in Leeds. And sadly, the town they chose to seek medical attention in worried me more than the reason we might be visiting. Because, let’s face it, one most definitely led to the other. It usually does in this town.
“Lottie.” I lower my voice in hopes she’ll follow my lead. “Why is Carlotta naked? What bowling balls does your mother have attached to her body?” I ask just as Everett speeds into the room and frowns at me.
I’m hoping it’s not what I think.
“I tracked down the doctor,” he says. “He’s got the results of Carlotta’s scan. He’ll be in shortly.” He nods to Lottie. “Lemon, what happened? Don’t sugarcoat it. Give it to me now.” He says it so forcefully both Carlotta and Miranda buck in response.
Lottie opens her mouth to speak, but Miranda shoves her out of the way.
“We went nude bowling with a group called the Bare Exam.” Miranda looks a touch too proud. “Lottie shook down a suspect while Carlotta and I did our best to create a diversion.”
Lottie nods. “You created two diversions, Mother—with the wrong people.” She looks my way. “Carlotta obviously doesn’t know the principles of a bowling ball since she thought it was a good idea to knock herself out with one. And for the record, Keelie and I weren’t nude—mostly.”
Keelie took off for Honey Hollow once the ambulance arrived. She said she didn’t want to see her Aunt Carlotta bite the big one, and Lottie was quick to say that unlike her cousin slash bestie, she wanted a front-row seat.
“Hibdee hibdee,” Carlotta sputters.
“It’s about time,” Lottie says, shaking Carlotta again. “Now open your eyes so we can get out of here. I’d like to be home in time to tuck Lyla Nell in bed.”
“Thank you for your honest answer, Miranda,” I tell her before turning to Lottie. “Which suspect did you shakedown?”
