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“He died.”

She shifted again and this time came over to hug him. Just pulled him as close as she could and he held himself stiff because he knew in his heart, he didn’t deserve her sympathy. He had tried to tell himself that Cal needed a firm lesson. To figure out how to stay clean for himself but the truth was, most days he woke up wishing he could have him back. Even the addicted, hard-on-Max’s-heart brother who would make promises that his addiction would never allow him to keep.

“It’s not your fault. Addiction is a disease. You tried,” she said.

She just kept hugging him and rubbing his back, and he turned his head into her shoulder after a few minutes and hugged her back. Held her tightly to him because he wanted to believe the version of him that she saw. Her words were quiet and supportive, telling him that his brother had found peace and that, no matter what, she knew that Max had done all he could for him.

Max didn’t quite believe it but he liked hearing a different version of himself. He turned his head and their eyes met. She waited for him to say something and he realized that he didn’t know what to say.

She just nodded slowly at him and straddled his lap. She leaned down and gave him the sweetest, gentlest kiss that sort of just said it was okay. Whatever he felt was fine and he held her in his arms, knowing that he might regret this quiet moment with her later. But for the first time since Cal’s death he didn’t feel that sharp pain.

I like her. She’s right—I am at peace now. It’s okay for you to move on.

Cal’s voice sounded confident in his mind but Max wasn’t sure yet. He wondered if a part of him didn’t want to move on because the pain was all he had left of Cal.

“So I think we need to do something spontaneous and festive,” she said. “I’m thinking we watch our favorite Christmas movie and eat junk food. We both need to do something to clear away the ghosts of the past.”

“What’s our favorite movie?” he asked.

*

“Mine isWhenHarry Met Sally. So good and part of it takes place at Christmas,” she said, not really expecting him to want to watch it. But definitely wanting to make him smile again. There was a sadness in him that she hadn’t really noticed before. But now that she knew about his brother her heart was breaking. She needed to do something.

The sun was starting to set and she had promised him dinner and honestly after the day in The Barrels she hadn’t planned on talking about anything from either of their pasts. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, well she hadn’t, but she also wasn’t sure of what this was between them.

“No,” he said. “What aboutDie Hard?”

“Definitely not. It’s barely a Christmas movie. Something festive,” she said.

“Like what,Rudolph?” he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

“Any Rankin/Bass stop-motion animation works for me. I really am a fan of them. My parents watched them growing up and shared them with us.”

“Fine,” he said.

“Yay. And good news—I’ve decided to order pizza instead of cooking,” she said. She asked him which popular chain of pizza he preferred.

“I’ve never had either of those. You choose.”

“Okay. I like Italian sausage, olives and mushrooms. What do you like?” she asked. “I’ll eat anything but pineapple and ham.”

“That’s the only thing I like,” he said, dryly.

She looked up from her phone where she was ordering the pizza and gave him a good hard look. Was he teasing her?

“My parents will disown me if I put that on my pizza,” she said.

“I have a feeling they’d disown you if they knew you were ordering it,” he returned.

“You’re not wrong; so this needs to be our little secret.”

“So ham and pineapple then?”

“Are you serious?”

“No, I’m not. I rarely eat pizza. Get what you want,” he said. His phone buzzed in his pocket, which was under her thigh, and she shifted off of him so he could get it.

“I have to take this,” he said.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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