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She smiled at the way he’d said that. “You don’t. I get it. It’s odd to go from the parent-child relationship to the friend one. It didn’t really happen until…well your party. That night really made me stop and evaluate so many of my behaviors. I mean I used to avoid time with my mom because I was afraid, she’d try to set me up and it turns out she just wanted to hang out. Now maybe I sound a bit silly.”
He laughed then and she smiled again. “I get it. That’s how it was tonight. Also we were able to talk about Cal, that’s my brother in case I haven’t mentioned his name before.”
“I bet that was nice,” she said. “I feel like you want to talk about him but aren’t sure how.”
He inhaled deeply and sat up straighter. “It was always complicated with him because he was an addict and died of an overdose. And there’s no way to sugar-coat this, I was still mad at him when he died. I was sick of him falling again and again.”
Her heart broke at the pain and regret in Max’s voice and at the sadness she felt about that relationship. It was in no way the same thing but she’d felt like that with Ollie who always ran from commitment, leaving behind a fiancée in college and Colby just last summer. It was painful to watch someone she loved struggle and make huge mistakes.
“That is hard. Ollie was like that with commitment. He dumped his college fiancée from the road and ghosted Colby when things got too real. I was so mad at him. I texted him to tell him to man up. But it didn’t make him come back. He had to figure it out on his own.”
“They seem like such a solid couple—I never would have guessed that,” Max said. “My mind knows that Cal had to make the decision on his own but my big brother heart can’t believe that. Can’t believe there was something I couldn’t protect him from.”
“Oh, Max,” she said. “You did everything you could.”
He tipped his head to the side. “Did I? How can you be sure?”
She realized that he was challenging her a little because he didn’t believe it himself. “The Second Start program is how I can be sure. The way you’ve put money into neighborhoods that a lot of billionaires just ignore. And it’s not just money, you are on the ground meeting the people and developing spaces that make sense for each neighborhood. That’s how I know you wouldn’t have abandoned Cal.”
Max shook his head. “The truth is I told him I was done with the second chances. We had a fight and he left. I never saw him alive again. Second Start is my sop for my guilty conscience. My way of trying to get the second chance I didn’t give Cal and that I’m not sure I deserve myself.”
“Well you do,” she said. “But I have a feeling you’re going to have to figure that out for yourself.”
“Maybe. I should let you get some sleep. I’ll text you tomorrow. Good night.”
He hung up and she lay there thinking about all he’d said. She’d fallen in love with him and realized there was still so much she didn’t know about him. It worried her because the more she got to know the more she liked him but the less obvious it was that they could be together.
Chapter Sixteen
Max mingled throughthe party at the Rossi ranch. There was something about being at this party that was making him…well itchy. Like his skin was too tight. He saw that his parents were talking to Jock and Delilah and Max noticed Angelica and Cosima were keeping some artist friends that Sox had introduced to them busy. Sully and the other Calloway brother whose name he couldn’t remember were here as well with a group from The Barrels.
He’d asked Angelica’s parents to host the party so he’d have a chance to get to know everyone and speak to them in a relaxed setting. He wanted a chance to get to know the needs of the neighborhood in a less formal setting than the town hall he’d held on the site that only fifteen people had attended.
Things were going too well with Angelica and Whiskey River. It put him on edge. He stood in one of the corners observing, as was his habit.
You’re going to fuck this up for yourself.
Shut up.
Cal wasn’t wrong. That was what had Max so worried. He was going to fuck this up and for once it wasn’t only himself who’d be hurt.
Angelica.
He saw her working the room, her brilliant smile making everyone around her take notice. He was proud of the changes in her since the night of his party, though a part of him wondered if he could really take any credit.
No.
He ignored Cal’s voice. His brother had been on his mind a lot. Probably because the last time he’d let himself care about someone—
You cared? Had a funny way of showing it.
I know. That’s why…I have to break this off with Angelica.
Bro, I was kidding.
But Max knew that he wasn’t good at emotional stuff. Angelica deserved better than a man who could only give her a half-measure of caring. That was all he had in him. All that he’d trust himself to give. All was the one thing he could never give her.
Reg was working the room as well, having decided to put his pursuit of Cosima on hold, he’d brought a date with him. The tall, cool blonde wasn’t really mingling well and had gone to sit on the patio near the firepit, reading something on her phone.
