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And it was hard.
Her mind was racing as they walked back to her parents’ house. He paused as his dad noticed them and waved them over. “Um…my folks are still staying at the mansion but they won’t be nearby us.”
Of course they wouldn’t. “Family is all around us, isn’t it?”
“It is. I used to think that was a bad thing but you opened my eyes to the fact that it might not be,” he said.
“It’s not,” she admitted, going with him to see his father.
“I’ve been talking to Red here and he’s invited us to go fishing on Saturday morning. Want to join me?” Max’s dad said.
Red Aldean was married to Delilah’s sister. They lived over in Last Stand. Red was an outdoorsman with a small daughter aged four or five that he was raising with Emma.
“I’ve only been fly-fishing. But I’m game,” Max said, looking at her.
She shook her head no; fishing wasn’t her thing. Not sure if that’s what he was silently asking her.
“Angelica and I are going to head out. I’ll see you on Saturday, Red. Dad, see you later,” Max said.
The other men said their goodbyes and Max and she split up when they entered the house to say goodbye to everyone. It took them about forty minutes to work their way around the room through all the guests and when they were outside and the valet that had been hired for the evening brought Max’s car, she realized that the brief respite from this conversation she both wanted and didn’t want to have was over.
Once they were in the car, Max didn’t talk but just drove with his usual speed and efficiency to his mansion. He parked the car in the garage and led her into the house to the family room. He lit a fire in the fireplace and turned on the Christmas lights after taking care of their coats and offering her a drink.
She’d asked for a Baileys because she was pretty sure she needed some whiskey courage to say what was on her heart. She knew she had to. This wasn’t the time to let the timidity of the last eighteen months take hold. She needed to be as honest with Max as she’d been with Veronica when she’d videoed Angelica.
She took a deep breath as he sat down and he took a swallow of his whiskey neat and looked at her.
*
“So—”
“Please let me speak first,” he said. She nodded and took another sip of her Baileys and he took a deep breath. Just speak from the heart.
Yeah, Max, show her you have heart.
Cal…
You’ve got this. Loving comes easy to you. You always made me feel important and you’ll do the same for her. Just tell her.
“I…”
“It’s okay. I pushed you. I know you’re not the kind of person who wants to see reminders—”
“I am,” he said. “I want to be that kind of person. Your gift means more to me than you’ll ever know. I loved my brother and thinking about him has been tied up in guilt and anger. Even with my parents. Until you.”
“Until me?” she asked.
“Yes. You crashed more than my party that night we met. You crashed straight into my walls and they shook and eventually crumbled. I’ve tried to deny it. Kept on with my life as if everything hadn’t changed. Kept telling you that we’d keep things casual even though nothing about the way I feel for you is casual. I love you, Angelica. I never thought I’d say those words to anyone again. But they are the truth.”
The lights on the Christmas tree twinkled and he looked over at it, knowing he was stalling for time. It was still hard to process the fact that she loved him. Angelica Rossi loved him. He had to figure out a way to make it work. Had to figure out how to be worthy of her.
He reached for his whiskey and finished it in one long swallow. He set his glass down, feeling restless as he only did when he was unsure.
He loved her but would he react the same to Angelica… He immediately knew he wouldn’t. The situation was different. Angelica was different. It was hard to think back on Cal and remember a time when he hadn’t had to be his keeper. He knew that it had started in high school.
For a long time he’d been able to do it and still care for his brother, but eventually he’d had to cut himself off from that brotherly bond in order to survive. There weren’t words to describe the utter fear he’d felt each time Cal had disappeared. That worry that they’d never see him again and then the anger when he’d shown up.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I loved you,” she said.
