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She still loved him. There was a fierce feeling of rightness to that. He had felt she belonged to him since the first time they’d made love so it was only right that she loved him.
“I have no doubt that your feelings are real,” he said at last. “You aren’t the kind of person to say something unless it is true. I am the same.”
“I know that. So why do you think you aren’t worthy of love?” she asked. He could see there was something else she wanted to say but she kept it to herself.
“I stopped feeling anything for Cal. By the time he came back that night before he died…I no longer had the affection and love we’d shared in childhood. I know that makes me a monster. Who stops loving someone because they are sick?”
She put her drink down and scooted closer on the couch, hugging him, and though he tried to hold himself still he hugged her back. He wanted this. He wanted her in his arms and in his life. He wanted to be worthy of her. He needed to be.
“You did that for self-preservation,” she said. “I have seen the real you, Max. You lead with your heart even in business.”
“I think you’re the only one who sees it that way. Most people see me as shrewd,” he said, not letting go of her and shifting around so that she was curled against his side on the couch.
There was a gentleness to Angelica for all her fierceness and that soothed the rough parts of himself that he’d forgotten he had.
“Having heart doesn’t mean you’re stupid. I hate when people act like because someone cares they must be an idiot. Caring people make the best decisions because they aren’t made for greed.”
“Thank you,” he said.
She tipped her head back, leaning it on his shoulder, and looked up at him. Their eyes met and she gave him a loving smile that made him realize how much he loved her.
“You’re welcome.”
“I love you.”
She turned in his arms to face him. “How are we going to make this work?”
He groan-laughed at the way she said it. How were they going to? “I have no idea. I mean you have to stay here.”
“I do. I have the boutique and The Barrels and despite the fact that your connections are probably going to make her very famous, I’m also mentoring Sox.”
“I know you are. I am trying to figure out Whiskey River as a base of operation but there are times when I’m going to have to be in LA and in New York. I can’t live here full-time.”
“I think I can handle that as long as I know you are coming back,” she admitted. “I guess we’ll have to try it and see.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. Still too open-ended but there was no other way. “I thought love made everything perfect.”
“Love doesn’t make it perfect; we do,” she said.
He kissed her then because he knew that his part of the reason was all down to her. She had helped him back to the land of the living. Back to seeing the good in people instead of trying to assuage his own guilt at saying no.
“How long do you want to give it a try?” he asked.
“I guess it depends on your travel plans.”
“I’ll have two big things that will keep me away most of January. So it will be a good test run. I’ll come back in between. And maybe…you can come visit me. I’ll send the jet.”
“Yes. January is usually slow for tourism in Whiskey River but I want to put a lot of time into the community center. How about if we check in on this in February? By then we’ll know if it’s working,” she said.
A part of him wanted to just be all alpha man and tell her that it would work because he wouldn’t accept it not working, but he knew better. They had to try and he knew there was a chance that neither of them would find the travel and trying to fit in a relationship tolerable.
But they were going to try. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom where he made love to her as if he would never let her go.
Epilogue
Christmas Eve wasalways a special time for her family with traditions and mass. So when Max was called away on the twenty-third, Angelica tried to smile and pretend it didn’t matter, but inside it had. She told herself that she needed to be a grown-up about this. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him that they would have to work at their relationship.
She knew that she would be disappointed if he wasn’t there. But she also wanted him to be safe so didn’t say anything. She spent most of Christmas Eve with her family getting things ready for the feast of the seven fishes, which was a traditional Italian meal. In her family it had always been more the feast of one fish and a lot of shellfish and pasta. The kitchen in her parents’ house was loud with talking and laughing. Her dad and Uncle Joe—Cosima’s dad—were both trying to outdo each other as they did every year.
