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“Wow, that’s a great way to make memories of getting skin cancer like melanoma.” He is talking crazy; no way would I spend time on the beach working on bikini lines when I could be snorkeling into danger.
“Can you just complain about the heat and the smell of my farts? It is like I am asking for the bare minimum.”
“Everybody farts.”
Enzo glares at me.
“The volcano boarding is four and half hours away, so is the cliff carving of El Tisey. The guy at the front desk said a man lives close and has been carving by hands sculptures into the stone mountain for over forty years. See, and I found all this out by asking around to the people who actually live here, Enzo.” I tap his nose.
“Dedication, I will give it to him.” Ignoring my chastising.
“The Playa Maderas is only twenty minutes. I can go do that while you are resting. There is the San Ramon Waterfall someone suggested on the plane; it might be cool to check out.”
“How far away is that?”
“Three or so hours.” I shrug, looking it up; I show him a few pictures I found online.
“I think I am in love.” Enzo tilts his head to see the image better.
“Back off, bitch. I saw her first.”
“I’ll fight her for you.” My boyfriend has got his feistiness back.
“Stop messing around, sick man. Which one do you want to go see tomorrow?”
“How about all of them?”
“This is why I love you.”
“I thought it was because of my big, thick cock?” Confidence looks good on a poor sick man.
“Who told you it was big and thick?” I tease him because I probably have said it a time or too, during sex, after sex, before sex. Anytime really. “I’m sorry you are stuck with me. If you wanted to hitch yourself to some low impact broad with platinum teeth and bleached hair, you should have kept shopping, mister.” I kiss my fingers and press them onto his lips.
“It’s platinum hair and bleached teeth.”
“What?” Are these girls drinking bleach to make their teeth white now? Interesting, this is why I don’t Google beauty hacks. It’s a dangerous game pretending to be beautiful. “Anyway, you know what I mean. Phoebe, ain’t no basic bitch. She is a world traveler, making those dollar bills from the rainforest. Can’t wait to see some motherfucking macaws and toucans, all up in my grill.” I get off the bed and start dancing like a robot. “Maybe I’ll get crazy and try and pet one! Who knows, Enzo! Because when you find me, I won’t be on the beach, getting my vagina primed for mating season. I will be on the cliffs, boo.”
“I fucking love you, but get out of my face. Because I will sleep this nausea off; I am taking you to a volcano so we can be badass together.” He chucks at pillow at my head. “You are always trying to outdo me; you think you are way cooler than me.”
“We both know I am; I don’t even know why you brought it up. The real reason I am with you is that I feel bad for you. You try so hard; it’s just embarrassing, babe.” I try to keep a straight face as he tries not to laugh.
“Get out of here, smartass. I love your ass and your mind. Both are awesome. But please go away so I can feel sad without you wrecking my pity party.”
“Your wish is my command, honey.” I blow him a kiss, and he catches it with a wink. I grab my camera bag and hit the road.
At the front desk, I learn from the clerk the surfers are a twenty-minute car ride away in Playa Maderas. He says there is a shuttle I can take from here to there. Of course, I trust him blindly and accept his offer.
On the shuttle, I sit next to a man; I ask him if he is from here, the stranger on the bus says no. It is a long dirt road, bumpy to the place where surfer enthusiasts gather. He does his best to pick the right words in English, and I am patient with his effort. I can make friends with people I will never see again. They are the easiest to understand, individuals who want to get to know me are why I have no friends. I am not scared of it; I just don’t care to keep them impressed after a while.
The man with wrinkles around his eyes says they left everything behind. To come here knowing they would never be able to return to their homes. Many years, the man says, he had a hard time adjusting. There were no jobs, no money to support his family. He told her his family could sell handmade goods to tourists. He even gives me two bracelets his daughter made, and I shuffle in my pocket for a few dollars. But he waves me off, says sharing a story to listening ears is payment enough.
When I get to my stop, he blesses my journey as we part ways. I leave some dollars in my place on the seat. His hand covers mine, and I see the lines of gratitude on his face now.
White-tipped waves curl into themselves. The beach isn’t busy; I head to the small outside bar. A few people are milling around the area.
“How was the beach, baby? Any surfer dudes I need to go beat up to defend your honor?” Enzo greets me as I open the hotel room door. I love this. Coming back to the home in his arms.
“Good, I got some great shots. Everyone kept their hands to themselves.” I lock my hands around his back. “Would have been better with you.”
