Page 22 of National Parks


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We grab her backpack and walk back to the designated sleeping arrangement. I hold her hand, and even though her miles might be wandering the sky, exploring the scenery, we are together. Phoebe is right next to me as we float across the galaxy. I am her gravity, and she is my levity. We are both ends of a balanced beam, tiptoeing to the center.

My hand lets go of hers, and I swing my arm around her neck to hold her against me. I kiss her forehead, and I want her to know I will always love her no matter what. I hug her, and I can’t remember ever wanting to give this much affection. But being in love with the right person changes you. It heightens your senses, enlightens your bruised mind with ideas of possibility.

“Hey, babe?” Phoebe kisses my heart and lifts her head up.

“Yeah, baby?” My thumb caresses the side of her neck.

“I just wanted you to know…” But she stops and shakes her head. “Sorry, I didn’t know this would be so hard.” I swear she has a few drops of sad water in her eyes.

“What is it, honey?” I search her eyes for an answer on how to make it better.

“You…you have nut-breath.” Phoebe socks me in the stomach softly. Then she runs away with her arms flailing, wild and laughing. Like Phoebe thinks she is the funniest person in the universe. I mean, she is in my universe.

I chased her to the front door; she stopped because I had the keys. Because I am responsible like that.

“It seems I have something you need, Phoebe.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about; I know how to pick a lock.” She shrugs, but I jiggle the keys in her face. She tries to grab them, but I pull them back.

“Say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry.” But it isn’t good enough.

“Like you mean it.”

Phoebe rolls her eyes and goes up on her tippy toes to meet my mouth. “I’m sorry, I was being a meany, beany, Phoebe-be-be.” Then she delivers a good wet one on my lips, and all is forgiven. I unlock the door, and she strips out of her clothes; everybody is happy.

“Care to show me how to make your geyser erupt,sir?” Phoebe sways her body as she speaks in the creepiest man voice I have ever heard come out of a woman.

“I won’t show you any geysers if you keep talking like that.” I put her backpack on the table, I grab her laptop, and set it up for her to edit. “Now get your pictures uploaded like a good girl.”

“But I want to be a bad bitch for you, sir. I’ve just gotten out of solitary confinement, and I feel frisky.” My girlfriend starts humping the air aggressively, and I have to cover my eyes because it’s too much, and I am laughing so hard.

“Babe! What are you, a prison inmate now? First, you were a nature guide, now, you got locked up. I like the story, but not the voice.” I beg her to stop, but she continues onward.

“Somebody had to take the fall for all those disappearances.” She winks at me and turns to shake her butt. “It was either Leroy or me. But Leroy had the morning shift so I volunteered to serve the time for the crimes.” Phoebe squats down low, walking like she is searching for evidence. Her eyes are wide, nose flared; she is in it to win it.

“Wait, does Leroy work with you as a nature guide? Why would it matter if he had the morning shift or not?”

“Because…because someone has to watch out for nature.” Her arms go wide above her head, Atlas holding the world type of action.

“I don’t think it makes sense.”

“What, well, Leroy, has two cats. He wanted to get a dog soon. And you know I am allergic. So it had to be me.” She stands up straight and loses the exaggerated male voice.

“Babe, Leroy isn’t real; he doesn’t have any pets. You aren’t in prison for crimes you committed as a nature guide.” I kiss her cheek and walk back to where she dropped her clothes.

“Can I at least keep the handcuffs?” I hear the clink as I turn around, and she is holding them in the air. Such a kinky dreamer, my lover.

“Where did you get those?” I swallow any previous complaints of the dude’s voice. I mean if it ends in foreplay and someone getting cuffed to the bedpost, there isn’t a loser in the scenario.

“I might have found them when we were getting a tour from security.” Phoebe shrugs at her innocent act.

“Wow, you really wanted to test out that prison theory.” I grab them from her hands. “You little thief, I think I might have to punish you, teach you a lesson for your indecent behavior.” I grab her at the base of her throat; I twist her around until her naked back is pressed against me.

I rub her neck with my fingers.

“Is there any way I can make you look the other way, sir? I promise it was my first offense. It won’t happen again. Can’t you let me off with a warning?” I can feel the words vibrate as they echo out her throat. My hand restricted her movement.

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