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She screams, of course, drama queen.
“You won’t last an hour.”
“Fine, tell me about the trees that aren’t trees.” Elle sits down on a small stone with her back turned toward me.
“So, as I was saying, Joshua Tree isn’t a tree. They got their name from traveling Mormon pioneers, who thought they were a sign from God.”
“The polygamists named this park after a guy from the Bible.” We stare at a Joshua Tree; we even tilt our heads. “I don’t see what they saw. Everything is dead.”
“But isn’t it nice to be here?” I outstretch my arms wide. “Rock climbers think this is paradise.”
“What about those mountains over there? What are those?”
“They are the San Bernadino Mountains.” I check the map one more time to make sure.
“Okay, Phoebe, you are going to have to explain to me again why we are here because I don’t see the appeal.” Elle flings her head right and left and doesn’t see what I see.
I climb down from the edge of my rock.
“Stand up.” She does. “Okay, now close your eyes.” I close mine too; I hold our hands together. “Now listen.”
“I don’t hear anything.”
“Shhh…Elle. Sometimes, it isn’t about seeing; when you come to a place like this, it's become empty. To lose yourself in the way the sun burns during the day, but the moon cools us at night. We aren’t here to be filled by anything; we are here to drain all expectations and just be.”
I listen to the birds, the wind, the slow rumble, something foreign but also familiar.
“Now, open your mouth.” Elle is too trusting, especially when I pop something in her mouth.
“Phoebe? What was that?” Elle’s eyes are open.
“A little LSD.” I throw the other half in my mouth. “See, I’ll take some too.”
“What the fuck? Drugs? I’m a mom, Phoebe! I’ve never done drugs before.”
“Really?”
“Really, what? Why are you so calm?”
“I don’t know, because I’m not trying hallucinogens for the first time. But also, really, because I thought you said you were from Utah? Don’t they have one of the biggest opioid problems?” A little bit of drugs is good for you if you are calm.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Elle, however, isn’t calm; she is freaking out.
“All those housewives are doped up is all I am saying.”
“Are we going to choke to death on our vomit?”
“Probably not.” I walk us slowly back to our camp; I wave at a few other campers set up in the area.
“Am I having a heart attack? Feel my chest.” She grabs my hands and presses them to her boobs.
“That’s not where your heart is.” But a few hikers pass us on their way, so I play along and smile.
“See, something is growing there!”
“It’s your tits, Rachelle. God, are you going to be paranoid the whole time? It hasn’t even kicked in yet.” I sit her down and grab her some water.
It’s not in my head anymore.
