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“Gross, it is the worst idea you have had all day. Make your mom go. I am so out.” I grab a bag of pancake mix and Bambi picks it up and replaces it with an organic option.
Listen, we already know you are wonder woman, stop bragging about it.
“Oh, I misspoke, I meant you are coming to this dinner with me, so I can have a buffer against my boyfriend’s parents. Last time I took my mom, she kept thanking them, like she had never had meatloaf in her life before.”
“Well, she probably never had it on a silver platter. But still, the answer is no. I will humiliate myself and embarrass you, knock some people’s confidence down. Is that what you want?” I grab a gallon of milk and she has her pretty please smile on. “Shit, you do want me to cause drama.”
“I would never.” But she winks at me.
“That’s rude, forcing your favorite cousin to put on a scene so you can feel better about yourself in front of them.” I squint my eyes at her.
“It will be a night to be remembered,” Bambi promises and before I know it I am agreeing to things I only would if there was a gun to my head.
“Hey, Alyeska!” Someone down the aisle shouts.
“Incoming.” Bambi whispers it as I find the voice who called my name, and there is Lad.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” I am backing away, the cart becoming a barrier between us.
“Do you believe in fate?” God, Bambi, don’t make this romantic.
“No, are you brainwashed? There are fifteen other grocery stores in a sixty-mile radius. And you want me to believe that he happens to be in the same store let alone aisle the twenty minutes we decided to stop here for an emergency ice cream and tampon run?” My cousin is mischievous.
“True love knows no boundaries.” I shake my head at her line. “He texted me and asked where you were; he found your phone. How sweet.” Bambi takes the cart out of my grip and walks down another aisle.
“Not sweet, a little bit of a stalker, if you ask me.” But he is right in front of my face when I turn around.
“Hey, Aly.” Lad smiles and I think I might have stuck my head in the freezer too long. “I thought it was you.” Awkward. “How are you?”
Super given we saw each other a few hours ago; the world hasn’t ended so there is that update.
“What are you doing? Are you stalking me? Did you put an app on my phone to track me?” I am getting real up close and personal with him.
“Um, no, remember, you left your phone in my car last night.” Lad grabs my phone out of his pocket, and it is so smooth I think I will plan his demise slowly.
“Oh, right. What’s up?” I grab it and shove it in my back pocket, not focusing on how warm it is against my butt cheek.
“Was that your famous cousin?” Lad points to where Bambi went around the corner.
“She was in one commercial.” But she’s been riding the coat tails of her fame since she was a teenager.
“Can I meet her?” Lad wiggles his eyebrows, and I wish I was a cartoon character to wish me out of this situation.
“Don’t you dare drool, or I’ll punch you in the gut.” We find Bambi in the meat department, speaking with a man who is being blessed by her presence we all know.
“Whoa, does your cousin get hit on a lot?” Lad stands behind me, waiting for me to move forward.
“This one make three times today.” People are especially brave today. The other time, I was coming out of the bathroom and the most handsome person was telling her about a new restaurant and I didn’t know what type of food they served, but I tell you I would eat there.
“Do you need me to flirt with you a few times to boost back up your ego? I can see it is taking a hit. Want me to leave and come back and objectify you?” Lad is an honorable dude, after all.
“Nah, she’s going to be married one day, and then what glory will she have but be a trophy wife. Let’s let her have this.” I tap his chest to follow me.
“Bam Bam, this is Aladden the Cannon. His nickname means he is fast at swimming.” I nod my head, widen my eyes, and flare my nostrils like we should all be impressed. But Bambi shakes her head and sticks out her hand.
“Bambi Suzuni, sorry about my cousin. We had her condition checked out; I assure you it isn’t anything contagious.” Now they are laughing together, hilarious, how fun for them.
“It’s why I can’t sit by her in class. I don’t want it to affect my Olympic abilities. My coach says I shouldn’t engage in situations that may cause me bodily harm.” Bambi laughs at Lad’s comment, and what is going on, are they becoming friends?
