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“I fucking swam on my own. Or didn’t you notice me floating on top of the water, instead of being a corpse sunk to the bottom?” I snarl it, and he is puffing out his chest, angry I am not falling at his feet thanking him for doing the bare minimum.
“You’re not a goddamn charity case, Alaska. Get over yourself, charity is too good of a word to use on you.” There is a grimace as he eyes me up and down. “It would be more like charity trash if we want it to be more accurate.” Shaking his head as he turns to leave.
“Hey, Lad?” Still having a few ounces of rage in my bones. “Go to hell.”
“Baby, I’ve been stuck there with you for months; I didn’t realize how cold it would be.” Gripping the edge of the door as he leaves the room.
The drive to school is harboring fugitives of the most recent arguments. Lad heads to swim practice and I watch him walk away, the sky still dark, but I wanted to head to the library and catch up on schoolwork.
He doesn’t look back, but I don’t expect him to. This is my problem, not his. I just wish he knew the things I couldn’t say. When he heads to the pool, I wait a few more minutes to see if fate will bring him back out to me. But when he doesn’t, I lead myself to the seclusion of quiet nooks and old books.
Lad doesn’t give me a glance during class together, and I think I hate being ignored more than his hurtful comments. The second class ends; Lad is gone before I can make apologies. I guess I am going to have to work harder than I assumed I would.
At lunch, he isn’t by his truck, so I head to where his team eats lunch and I find him at the center of his domain. His throne of friends and good energy, everything I am not to him.
I don’t give a shit who stares. I walk right up to him; he is laughing with a couple of the guys and I stop in front of him, tug on his arm.
The man this morning who was out for blood, is a bit more remorseful as he appraises my mood. I don’t want to be toxic; I don’t want these things with him to leave a bad taste in my body.
“Hey.” It’s cautious as I lift my head.
“Hey, Aly,” he replies, not hiding who he is, who we are to each other.
Lad looks away first before trying to decide what his friends might think. He gives me a nod, standing to greet me.
We stand so close I can smell myself on him. Lad inhales as I lean into him. I wrap my arms around him and he does the same to me. His head is close to mine as he presses lips against my skull.
“I love you, Alyeska.” Lad doesn’t quiet his voice to declare his feelings.
“I’m sorry, Lad, about this morning, about yesterday. I’m sorry for so many things.” I am on the brink of tears and I duck my head and bury my face into his chest. Not wanting Rush and the other guys to have ammo to use on me later.
“Did you think I was going to let our argument ruin our day, baby?” It’s the smile that makes me weak in the stomach, shudder in my heart. Lad pulls a small bouquet of yellow flowers from behind his back. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I don’t want you to ever feel as terrible as I saw you yesterday. I just need you to talk to me, okay, babe?”
I take the flowers and continue to have him hold me. I don’t say another word, holding tight around his torso until he relaxes around me. And for a few minutes we aren’t running or ruining, we simply remain.
Sniffling and wiping my eyes, I take a step back, but don’t meet his eyes.
“I have to head to Bambi’s house, I told her I would babysit the girls while her and Julian were at work.” I turn away, leaving on a short goodbye. But Lad grabs my hand and lifts my chin; those lips press into mine and we form a mold.
“Take my truck so I know you’re safe. I’ll have Rush drop me off at home.” He places the keys in my hand, and I nod.
“Forget it, you can walk your sorry love-struck ass home.” Rush laughs with a few of his buddies.
“Hey? We good, Aly?” Lad asks, searching my eyes for answers.
I bring my arms around his neck and lick my tongue against his lips and then push a kiss on him so good he grips the back of my shirt, wanting it to be my skin he marks.
“See you later, Lad.” And I leave him smirking and always wanting more.
By the time I get to Bambi’s house, she is running around crazy. Trying to check off tasks on her to-do list before leaving me alone with my two favorite girls.
I’m hanging off my cousins bed my head is upside down. I flip through the movie selections as she changes her toddler’s diaper.
“So how did swim practice go the other night?” Bambi raises her eyebrows and gives me a secret wink.
“Yeah, he taught me how to not drown mostly.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she shakes her head at me.
“Where is my princess?” Julian comes in and scoops up his daughter.
