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“Make a wish, Aly.” Holding her hands between us as she moves her head to one side and then the next. “I know it is cheesy, but hey.” Trying to explain how it could be fun or romantic, shouldn’t be thinking about getting laid right now either.
Aly laughs and kisses me so my thoughts shut down real quick. I grab her hand and start running through the field, watching the clouds of dandelion whisps flutter behind us, trying to float away from the possible trampling under my feet.
“Make a wish.” I yell to her, and she is laughing at how ridiculous this is for us.
“I don’t think this is the way.” Covering her mouth as some of the white stems get in her mouth.
“Stop, let’s make a million wishes.” I spin us in a circle and there are plenty to pick from.
“You’re ridiculous,” Aly shouts not convinced this is real.
“But it’s fun, and I am with you, that is all that matters.” They dance around her head as they fall in her hair, making a crown of wishes on her black hair.
“All my wishes have already come true.” Aly’s words are vulnerable, and I am trembling to swallow them.
“I couldn’t wish anything better into existence.” I close my eyes and lean into her. She meets me halfway, and between our lips are a thousand unspoken wishes coming true.
Back in the truck, we head down the road, and the sun feels good when it isn’t trying to fry you or burn you alive.
“I read your memoir.” Aly shocks me, making my foot come off the gas pedal.
“What? Are you serious?” Focusing back on the driving duties.
“Yes, it was surprisingly humble.” There is a kind smile on her mouth, and it means the world she isn’t tearing me a part. “However, the poster on your wall…”
The poster on my wall, made by the class who I helped evacuate and distinguish a small fire. Made it to thank me.
“I promise I need a good ego stroke from now and then, but I didn’t make it. The class did.” I reach over and grab her hand. She interlocks out fingers like this is how we always have been.
“The book was one thing, but if you are making your own promotional posters, I think we might have a problem.” Aly changes the song and I relax a bit more. We’ve become comfortable with each other, and it feels nice. Who knew falling in love in your spare time could be so worthwhile?
“Ask about my specialty, it is selflessness.” Tapping myself on the chest.
“Nope, now you had me before, but if you are going to keep with the silly lines, I don’t know how long we are going to last.” Aly pokes my side and shakes her head.
“Do you go to church?” I ask out of curiosity.
“Like in a building?” Aly changes the song again, and I change it back to one of my favorites.
“Yeah?”
“Not since I was in juvie.” Aly switches the song, and I let her win this round. Because I am confused about her last statement. “It’s a joke.”
“Oh good.” At least I hope it is a joke. “My mom used to think churches were going to save her. She used to be an addict, and I guess I had a terrible time admitting I needed help, because I didn’t want to be like her.”
Aly is quiet as she listens to my story.
“I remember the smell of her sweat when she was coming down from a high. Her hair was damp, like she just finished swimming. I remember she was too tired to take me to practice and I couldn’t compete in a competition the year I turned ten.” The road is gray and I don’t know where this is coming from, but I know I need to say it to somebody.
“Lad, I had no idea.” My girlfriend doesn’t need to feel pity for me.
“I don’t know how it got so bad for her. I don’t know when she started being someone else instead of my mom. But my dad was trying to save her, he always was there for her, until he had to make a choice between me or her and she left. She lives in Albuquerque, is some mindfulness guru. But anytime I think of her, I think of the smell on her skin, how it wasn’t right, and I hate it because that memory over takes all of my others. I haven’t seen her in ten years. Don’t know how long she has been sober. But I can’t tell my dad because the last thing I ever want is for him to look at me like he looked at her. That she was weak and couldn’t be fixed.” My eyes are struggling to focus and I blink away the bad memoires.
“It’s a terrible thing to go through,” my passenger confirms for me.
“I should have known better; I should have been better. I knew better, Aly. I know better.” The thought makes me an emotional coward.
“We all make mistakes and want to believe our parents are invincible enough to protect us when they struggle to protect themselves.” Aly scoots as close as she can to me, hugging me around the middle.
